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Re: Freedom.
Yeh, the 'sky' and 'fly' connection was nice, but, as everyone else said, does 'Clouds' have to be capitalised? All the best, RR*
Dec 23, 2006 -
Re: Sade's Folly
“Tell me who? I need a name!” This question mark could be changed to an exclamation mark. This is a really nice poem. I's unerving, but it tells a story ...
Dec 22, 2006 -
Re: Life
Yeh, this sums up most of life, and it's easy to read. Was there a special occasion as to the meaning of the text, or was it just a piece ...
Dec 22, 2006 -
Re: Nameless
Rosethorn, Jiggity and Myth seem to have summed it all up pretty well. There is lots of great discription in this piece, and you can imagine the setting well. RR*
Dec 21, 2006 -
Re: The Neighbours
It doesn't really matter if you rush the beginning because you want to write the rest of the story, as long as you go back and edit it. A story ...
Dec 21, 2006 -
Re: crying
This is a scary and disturbing story, although it is written well! There is not much description in it, but we can picture what is going on. It's interesting, if ...
Dec 21, 2006 -
Re: SUN AND MOON
I think Myth pretty much said it all. It sounds a developed piece of writing, but you do need to work on your spelling and grammar. Keep going! RR*
Dec 21, 2006 -
Re: Evil Knows No Buckeyes
This is interesting, but funny! I thought the ending was a bit weak, but apart from that it was good. The sentences were at the right balance and it all ...
Dec 20, 2006 -
Re: Sad lonely Insane Girl (me) talking
This is very confusing, but you seem mad... O____o But it was interesting...ish RR*
Dec 20, 2006 -
Re: Insomnia
It's a pretty good piece of work, and it should stay in this forum. It's pretty dramatic! But I agree with bubblewrapped and the others, a few corrections are needed. ...
Dec 20, 2006 -
Re: Random Newspaper Article!
I feel sure I have seen this somewhere before, but if I haven't, please excuse me. It was funny, but the text size was a bit small and the huge ...
Dec 19, 2006 -
Re: Life is Like Playdough
What else are you supposed to change playdough to?! I like it. It sums up most of life, just the way it is. Keep writing! RR*
Dec 19, 2006 -
Re: Green (title pending)
Why do you need to outlay a colour? And, not green, it's my favourite colour too, Myth! It just shows how stupid us humans are. Why did you write this ...
Dec 19, 2006 -
Re: The Faceless
Is this an entire story or just a chapter? RR*
Dec 19, 2006 -
Re: Shadow of the heart
This should be in poetry, not fiction. Unless, of course, you want to turn it into a story. Then it's fine. RR*
Dec 19, 2006