Published November 6, 2006
Change Of Career, Sir?
The famous Gingerbread Man - otherwise known as ‘Big G’ to acquaintances has had a career change, from being the humble victim of a mass countryside chase, to a top-notch LA gangster. But why the sudden change? Big G explains.
“As you can imagine, I was slightly annoyed at being chased for twenty years straight by all these obsessive people. I mean, I probably do taste good, but these guys just couldn’t get over me.
So what do I do? I hire protection. But even they were fighting the temptation to snap off an arm or a leg while I’m sleeping. I was living in terror, afraid to sleep at night, in case my body parts got mangled before morning. I had to travel around, for fear of being recognised by another mob of gingerbread-man-eaters. So, a year ago, I went to LA, and I managed to hook up with an Italian-American gangster. Al Capone was his name, and he taught me all the ropes. I became one of his most trusted cronies. When he was brutally murdered in a gun hoist last month, we were all devastated. He was like a father to us all. So, with great pains, we took a vote to see who our next leader would be. Well, I won, but of course, Jimmy wasn’t having any of that. So he tries to stick a bullet in my head!
Luckily, my most loyal friend Big Egg (Humpty Dumpty) was too quick for him. We hid Jim’s body in dear old Al’s coffin. Always useful, that man.” Big G reminisces.
“And I’ve got one last message for you gingerbread lovers out there.” Big G proclaims, “ You’re never going to get a piece of me. Not now, not ever." And with this parting sentence, Big G smiles menacingly, raises his gun into the air, and fires a solitary shot at the sky, as a warning to us all.
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137,425 Literary Works • 672,010 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Oh wow this is immediately just getting me rolling. I just did not expect to see this at all, and I am absolutely loving the humor hee. I think you definitely do a very successful job of getting our attention right here with this particular opening for a article. I think the tone here despite being funny also matches the style that its going for quite well.
Oooh okay now this is starting to turn away a bit from the idea of a newspaper articles. I think this is starting to become less of an article and more of a story now. You can't really have the person's quote be a whole story in a newspaper article so if you want this to be one, some changes will need to be made, but as far as a story is concerned, this is coming along really well here.
Okay well that ending certainly works well with that story angle. Its a nice little climactic moment to end on but once again with the newspaper article plan, this simply just wouldn't work out too well here, so if you're going that way you need to make this more formal and sound more like a report of what happened rather than a play by play like we have here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Very amusing. I especially liked the fact that you called him "Big G" after he became a gangster. That was pure genius. However, it would seem more like a newspaper article if you didn't quote Big G most of the time. Newspaper articles use a lot of quotes, but they generally don't tell entire stories using one person's quote. An overall funny idea though.
~El Hidalgo Don Quixote de la Mancha
Ill agree with Dream, this was intriguing.
I feel sure I have seen this somewhere before, but if I haven't, please excuse me.
It was funny, but the text size was a bit small and the huge title was a bit wierd, but it was good. An interesting little piece.
RR*
Chantel,
This is very familiar to what my Creative Writing class produced for the school newspaper. Nicely written.
J.
I like this, bought a smile to my face, good job
Like the story, Chantel! It reminded me of this email that I got on the Pillsbury doughboy and how he died of a yeast infection and whatnot...good stuff!
Oy, I keep forgetting you're a mod, Imp, this sudden power on your part keeps taking me by surprise whenever you move things or edit them. ^_^
It was amusing, Chantel, as DD notes.
But it's not quite non-fiction. Moved
Amusing, Chantel.
It could probably do without the violet title, but all the same, it was quite droll. Good job, on this. ^_^