Hello! I'm Amelia. I don't believe I have ever reviewed your work before so here goes. I wont go into any detail reiterating what the other reviewers have said about this being in poetry ( too me, it almost certainly seems like a poem, though you could have just spun a bit of poetic licence on story-writing...). There was no denying that this was gramatically stable (...a few minor spelling mistakes...), however, the words seep blandness. The poem doesn't bore me to death, but it doesnt light that spark in me, so to speak. There was no emotion behind the words and therefore the poem serves little purpose both to your life and to other readers who look to poetry for an emotive, inspiring message. Writing should come from the heart and I felt that this was something that you just created in your head, thought it sounded good, and wrote it down. Sorry for being so harsh. I hope my critique helps you to write with more passion and emotion. Keep writing though, and I'd be happy to review any of your other pieces on request ( or if I fancy out of my own free will, of course...) lol. Enjoy your day.
~ Amelia
Points: 7522
Reviews: 229
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