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Re: The Scream
Hey! Here with the review I promised. I hope you can repay the favor and review something of mine! :) So, first of all, no commas in the first stanza? ...
Feb 27, 2014 -
Re: Contemptable Wrest - (Ch 2) Part 1: Birds of a Feather
Hey! I'm panther, (in case you couldn't read my username.) Let's get right to it. "When your conscience comes calling" comma here, "it's best to listen." "Sadly, my conscience could ...
Feb 13, 2014 -
Re: "Picard and Wesley"
Hey, I'm panther, (in case you couldn't read my username.) Let's get to it. "Was he and Beverly in cahoots?" was is singular, you need "were." "Picard began spluttering indignantly, ...
Feb 13, 2014 -
Re: daze
"My daze turns into days." what does that mean? "realizing he can only come to me at night." This grammatically doesn't work with the rest of the (stanza?) stuff that ...
Feb 11, 2014 -
Re: Not connected, Oddly aressted(A teriible, No good,Very, Very Bad Life)
Hey, fellow... person! I like lines 3, 5-6, 10-11. "For what reason should folks look me in the eye," you can just say "why should..." It's too wordy otherwise. I ...
Feb 9, 2014 -
Re: Why is Life so Different? (W.L.D) Chapter 5: The Return to School
I took some liberties. Forgive me. It's just easier for me to review this way - telling people exactly what to change, but you don't have to take my advice ...
Feb 9, 2014 -
Re: Simply Complicated - McFly and Youtube - 1
Hey there! Carrie First off, "absolutely" in the 2nd line doesn't change the verb. “I’ll pick her up.” Who says that? It could be anyone. It's odd that Dougie, being ...
Feb 9, 2014 -
Re: Jolt
Eeh, what can I say, good job? - doesn't seem too appropriate... Great job? - closer to it. It was great, even though I had no idea what you tried ...
Aug 24, 2011 -
Re: I am
It's allright. Some parts need revision because you tried to make it rhyme and it didn't quite make sence, but overall, nice job. The stanza: “Are you the heroes you ...
Aug 23, 2011 -
Re: Always and forever
Well, I'm being honest right now, hope you're not one of those people to take it strong, but I didn't like it. The point you were trying to show was ...
Jun 7, 2011 -
Re: Bleached
All right, I know poetry isn't supposed to make sence - but really. It was good, but either I'm stupid (which as far as I know isn't the case) or ...
May 29, 2011 -
Re: Hey, Boy!
That was so funny! I know you probably didn't mean it to be humorous, but that was so realistic!!! Did that actually happen to you? Cause it did to me!! ...
May 29, 2011 -
Re: Letters to the Front Line
That was a really good poem. I don't think you should keep a certain number of lines in each letter because it kinda emphesizes the point that her as well ...
May 29, 2011 -
Re: I Don't Wanna Wear My Pants Anymore!
Um, I didn't really get the point of that, but allright go with that - awesome job. A little repetetive, and deffinitely not world-class literature but I do get what ...
May 27, 2011 -
Re: You
That was a very nice poem, the doubled lines added some emphasis on the right areas. I could deffinitely feel that bridge in it where you decided to give him ...
May 10, 2011
