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Re: He Changed Everything
I had a hard time getting past the first paragraph. I found it very distracting. You write a little too informally at parts. For example, using the word "guy" repetitively ...
Jul 8, 2013 -
Re: Forgotten.
I am in LOVE... With this poem that is. It's not really going to help you with your writing, but hopefully it'll make you more confident! "The box you hide ...
Oct 7, 2009 -
Re: You, the Arsonist
You, the Arsonist The writing exercise in front of the class concerns a pile of leaves depressed and repressed I like your choice of words! stricken from nature and laid ...
Oct 7, 2009 -
Re: Green to White
I like it, it's very unique! I like your style of writing. Like everyone else said, parts confused me. You spoke of white (which I assume is snow) and frigid ...
Oct 7, 2009 -
Re: Moonlight Decision (Enjoy!)
By request of posting them...;D Moonlight Decision Let's take a walk on the wild side, And forget all others that crossed the tracks. I love the intro! Totally catches your ...
Oct 1, 2009 -
Re: The Office Chair
This was entertaining and confusing all at once! It definitely was not a typical poem. I'm a fan of the sad rhyming and gloomy poetry, but this was a nice ...
Sep 30, 2009 -
Re: Something I Totally Drummed Up
The blue bird flies Why does it get to fly Why am I stuck in unhappiness When the world comes crashing down Why can't I fly then Why does the ...
Sep 30, 2009 -
Re: The Final Dance
Watch the stars by night time and I promise by the day, Is the word "time" neccessary? This one last kiss I will not miss as the sun shine fades ...
Sep 30, 2009 -
Re: The Butterfly Effect
Good poem! I like the style and construction. Some lines sound very typical such as "Making every nerve in my body tingle" and "Like I’m a worthless piece of trash." ...
Jul 20, 2009 -
Re: This Stupid Crush
I love this poem. It speaks to me. There is honestly so much emotion in this, I can just feel it... Especially in the lines "I’m dying to know / ...
Jul 6, 2009 -
Re: Memories Fade
Night after lonely night. I stare at the flickering lights Of my computer screen. Very strong intro. It pulled me right in! :] My mind drifts into hollow places Dark, ...
Mar 22, 2009 -
Re: First Time
If you fall for this man will you love me? This line seemed kind of out of place in my opinion. Otherwise I liked it alot. It made me feel ...
Mar 22, 2009 -
Re: You can't buy me over
The last two lines amazed me. I normally don't like very short poems, but this was good. However, I think the 4th line sounds kind of strange. Idiotic just doesn't ...
Mar 22, 2009 -
Re: Luck and Jealousy
Ahh, this is great. The lines "we must laugh, and smile, pretending not to feel" really spoke to me. Also, the empty ditch of jealousy is such a vivid image. ...
Feb 7, 2009 -
Re: Seasons
It was all a bit strange. I think you said "tis" too much, even though you probably did it purposely. This part also sounded odd because you end both lines ...
Feb 7, 2009
