Nai

He felt the oxygen wash from his system in the pattering rain. First, this opening line is a bit unclear. Is he losing his breath, or is it some sort ...

Sam pretty much covered it all. I thought this was really good. Even though i'm a guy and i'll never experience anything like this, it still has an impact. It ...

************* SPOILER ALERT (for those who haven't started reading the book yet) ************* Okay, I don't think anyone has commented on this yet, but I really didn't like the beginning ...

Well, it looks like Boni Bee and Griffinkeeper did a nice job commenting, so i'll hold off on the editing. And yes, I have noticed a very nice improvement since ...

all rightay... ::cracks fingers:: Griffinkeeper did a very nice job of editing so i'm just going to correct some of the most apparent grammatical and spelling errors. A city of ...

Wow, Brad this is really good. Seriousy I really liked this. I could find pretty much no mistakes except for a few typos I thought you would appreciate if I ...

I got up early in the morning to watch TV, the news was on, I saw the twin towers had been decimated. To be honest I didn't care then, and ...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've been done with The Two Swords for a while now... Have you read the remakes of "The Legend of Drizzt"? So far there's -Homeland -Exile -Sojourn -(And this ...

EMMA!! WOOT!! Hey, do you happen to have any avatars in the category "Magna Carta"? It's a Japanese RPG video game (and no it has not been released in the ...

The campsite where Yunero had his last roasted deer. Eclo didn't seem to bother too much with the situation. Maybe he was just glad that he finally found sanctuary. This ...

Okay these are just some editing comments; i'm brand new to editing and I don't excel that much beyond the normal English student, but i'll try my best. I know ...

No more can be said for a forgotten, Beloved, but no longer to exist, Many will forget that moment, But one will never forget-- A horse who flies across turf, ...

12 inch sandwich grasped in my hand gonna finish it, i'll be damned bright lights alive in the night-time dry throat, bit of pepsi i'll be fine talking idly to ...

Well I disagree completely with everyone who said it has no meaning. I think you did a nice job on this poem and I can easily discern the symbolism your ...

:o :shock: I really really like this too, your abilities pertaining to just the general way you write dialog is amazing. I honestly really like the story, the charcters, everything. ...