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MonaLisa211214

  • Poetry » Satire, General Re: Really funny...

    Funny, I would say it is that after one rereads it as to understand the poem's meaning. I like the mock of the justice system in the following line; "charged ...

    Aug 23, 2014
  • Poetry » General, General Re: Time Dark Light

    Wow. That was awesome. Can I ask what your inspiration was? It sounds almost religious but it isn't quite. I like the description of the Darkness and the Light. I ...

    Jun 20, 2014
  • Poetry » Dramatic, Spiritual Re: Memorial V: Greater Plans

    I really liked it. The religious aspect was really good. I haven't read the other poems so I wasn't sure what was going on. Good job. Your style is different ...

    Jun 18, 2014
  • Poetry » Realistic, Dramatic Re: Why I'm not dead right now.

    You have amazing poetic ability. Keep writing stuff like this, it is awesome. I wasn't a huge fan of the part when you said "The answer has always been and ...

    Jun 18, 2014
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Delete

    Wow. I'm ... shocked. That ending was awesome and unexpected. I loved the black, red, blue and white. Your descriptions were short but thought inspiring. I wasn't a huge fan ...

    Jun 18, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Teen Fiction, Literature Re: The Golden Days- Chapter 4: Bath time.

    First of all, the writing was awesome! It was seriously one of the best things I've read. I mean, "animal fat", "the lipids of some poor animal" has such a ...

    Jun 18, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Teen Fiction, Literature Re: The Golden Days- Chapter 3: The first date

    Oh my gosh so good! Thank you for including Sam's age in this chapter. I'm so glad Mrs. Nesbit is back. Yay! Okay, good things first. As I was reading ...

    Jun 16, 2014
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Suppressed Grief

    I really like Terence. He is funny and well developed even when we first met him. I loved how you said that Yorkdale Buttersworth made him crave pudding. I loved ...

    Jun 16, 2014
  • Poetry » Romantic, Lyrical Re: Outlaws

    You're poem is good. I liked how short it was. You didn't need so many words to show your point and I really liked the style. Short and not really ...

    Jun 16, 2014
  • Poetry » General, General Re: Nature

    That was really good. It wasn't just skipping through a meadow which I know people think about with nature. It was about night too and the natural cycle. Also I ...

    Jun 15, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Teen Fiction, Literature Re: The Golden Days- Chapter 2: Just another day at the races

    Okay not going to lie. That was kinda disturbing. I really like the Ms. Nesbit character. I would like to know more about her and I hope she is a ...

    Jun 15, 2014
  • Poetry » Romantic, General Re: Summertime Sadness

    Hey, what's up? Welcome to YWS! Good job on your poem; I really liked it. It reminded me of summer and happiness yet at the same time, sadness. It makes ...

    Jun 15, 2014
  • Poetry » Lyrical, Realistic Re: Loss for Words

    I really like the first and second sentence. They are kind of funny. It really worked and drew my attention. I could kind of relate to the emotion and frustration ...

    Jun 15, 2014
  • Short Story » Romantic, Dramatic Re: There She Sat

    That is an awesome story. Your descriptions were really impressive and I loved the overall feeling in the story. I could see the scene play out as i read it. ...

    Jun 15, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, General Re: Syrin: Chapter 1

    That was really good. You did a great job engaging your readers and i can't wait to read more. The ending was awesome and you created an awesome cliff-hanger. I ...

    Jun 15, 2014


Writing is like love: the real thing is a lot less romantic
— dragonfphoenix