Ages have swirled throughout in time,
Holding into place two terrible forces.
The Dark and the Light.
The Dark will seek to tear you apart,
Causing your limbs to shrivel and burn away.
A sleepless horror will abide in your soul,
Ripping the beauty away.
Snatching all life in an endless torment down,
But beyond the dark,
Lies something greater still.
A glorious light waits.
Its graceful beams,
Reflect off your blackened eyes.
Buried deep within your darkened soul.
Waiting for its chance to tear you from the Dark,
And give you the Light.
The Dark has no timing.
It appears without warning.
Crying its harsh battle cry,
Unleashing its torments on the world,
Attempting to rip apart our frail human substance.
Filling our life with anger and grief.
But the Light has the timing of an angel,
Watching and waiting for its perfect chance.
To snatch you up,
And bury you within itself.
It will appear,
With its perfect timing.
Shedding light, and love into your heart,
Spreading its joy for all of mankind.
Calming the child, who had feared, and been tortured.
Being something that will always feel right.
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Canary word: Present
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125,007 Literary Works • 672,815 Reviews
Hey Therese! Writer here for the last poem of yours ^^ Thanks to you, I'm back in the review spirit, and plan on hitting 200 by Monday
pfft, not gonna happenLet's commence, shall we?
I like the imagery you have here, though I do think you could use a simile or a metaphor to give us more an idea of how they "swirl." I dunno...also the second line is a bit iffy for me. I had to reread it a couple of times. I think the line would be less confusing and read better as this:
"Holding in place two terrible forces..." I don't know, but the line itself is worded a little oddly.
One thing I do want you to be careful about is stanza consistency. Yes, this is free verse, but you're setting up the stanzas in many different line counts...keeping it consistent might be better. It's up to you ^^
This is very well written! I like the imagery you have here. Although, shrivel and burn are entirely two different things...usually something would burn first and then shrivel. Might want to work on that.
"Ripping the beauty away" feels a little too vague for my liking.
Something more hardcore and emotional, like "Ripping the beauty away, shred by shred," etc. etc.
Just something that makes us feel even more emotion than what you've given us
Honestly I don't have too much to say on this poem. It's really good! I like the imagery you use in this, which is a huge improvement from the last two (which are still very good). I think you should work on what you have, and try to enhance it. Make it more powerful. I'm sorry this review is so short, I'm just busy but I wanted to review this!
I do hope you respond to this review and the two others
Now off to the rest of your portfolio (just kidding, I don't have all the time in the word to read your amazingness)
Keep writing!
~Thewriter13
xD I'm sooo sorry for not replying instantly!
The word choice, I'll definitely work on! 
Thank you sooo much for reviewing my poems! These reviews are actually encouraging me to start back up again with writing them. Thanks a million sis! 
I have excuses but they aren't that good at the moment, when it comes to how awesome these reviews areHmm, I see what you mean by the free verse style. I'd better be careful with that in the future. I'm actually thinking about trying to format a poem soon...
Hey Therese!
You call for reviews, and of course we will come! I had a bit of a delay before I could read this, but I am here now! I think you did a really awesome job with this, which surprised me, seeing as I have never read any of your poetry before. Darkness and light are two opposites that can be handled in multiple ways when it comes to poetry, and I think you described their differences beautifully, as well as explaining the transition from light to darkness well. I really don't have much to say here.
A small nitpick, but you don't need the 'in' here.
For such a fab poem, I felt like this was a bit of a disappointing end line. It didn't really make the light sound that spectacular, as all the other lines have managed to do very well, and it seemed pretty separate from the whole stanza. I think it would best if you cut this sentence completely. And to make a nice concluding last line, perhaps swap the calming the child one and the spreading its joy with each other? That way the end line mentions the joy light can bring to the whole of mankind, and expanding it to all those people sounds like a good place to end. As well as that, the stanza still makes a lot of sense.
There wasn't much rhythm here, but it did read nicely and not too clunkily either, and I suppose that is good enough ^.^ Seeing as this is such a descriptive poem, describing everything, it would be good to have some simile comparisons thrown in there as well. You know what I mean be similes, right? Like, the light was as gracious as an angel, or the darkness will strangle you itself, like death would. They simply make the poem sound more poetic, but it also helps to bring a bit of an abstract concept into something that we can understand by comparison with recognizable things/objects.
Sorry this was short, but poetry reviewing isn't really my thing and well, this was too good to find things to comment on much!
Deanie x
Thanks for the review Livvy! I did some editing on it last night, but I'm on a different computer so I can't put in the changes right now...I shall fix them!
I'll reply to the rest tomorrow. Have to go now. xD Sorry.
Wow. That was awesome. Can I ask what your inspiration was? It sounds almost religious but it isn't quite. I like the description of the Darkness and the Light. I loved how you said "Light has the timing of an angel" while the Darkness is "Attempting to rip apart our frail human substance". Oh my gosh, writer/reader chills! Plus it was a dark poem with a happy ending. Love happy endings, they are so rare though.
some critique
- the child was introduced to late in the poem
- I didn't get the last sentence "Being something that will always feel right." what was the something? It didn't tie into the rest (or so I think).
- "Causing your limbs to shrivel and burn away" Were your limbs the only things that burned away? I would have thought your entire being would burn
Overall, great job! Keep writing, you are really good.
Ohh, thank you so much for the review!! I will definitely fix all that you have pointed out!
I was kinda trying for something that could go both ways. Religious and non-religion. Just dependent on the person reading I think.
What inspired it? Hmm, hard to say. It think I was just mad right then, and needed to write. It kinda just went on from there.
Hi,
This would kind of be my first review ever. And am not sure if I would succeed in doing it right. But for starters, I have to say that I like your way of comparing the Dark and the Light. I like the way the words you used to describe the darkness tears at the reader because of how vivid it seems.
"The Dark will seek to tear you apart,
Causing your limbs to shrivel and burn away.
A sleepless horror will abide in your soul,
Ripping the beauty away.
Snatching all life in an endless torment down,"
I also like the way you transition from Darkness to Light. By first gripping the reader with the intensity of the Darkness, then subtly leading them into the light.
" But beyond the dark,
Lies something greater still.
A glorious light waits.
Its graceful beams, "
And also, those lines were able to create an imagery in my mind. One of being stuck in a dark tunnel, and finally able to see the light just beyond it. You were able to give the light a warm feel with the use of words like "angel", "calming". Overall, I like the way you were able to make darkness appear very gruesome and scary, and able to make the light comforting.
For the nitpicks, I don't really have much. But I didn't really get the first line of the poem:
" Ages have swirled throughout in time,"
And also I didn't really get the format too. Though the poem flowed well with only a few glitches, the breaking up of the poem seemed uneven in some place, most especially at :
" Waiting for its chance to tear you from the Dark,
And give you the Light."
And I think that would be all. Overall, I think your poem was good. I understood the message perfectly. I hope I did a fairly good job with this review
Best,
Armydah
Oh WOW. You have probably done one of the best I've ever seen for a first review!! Awesome job!!
As to your nitpicks, I will run through and fix everything that you have suggested. Thank you again and again!!
Hello, ThereseCricket.
Wow. You say poetry isn't your strong point. If this is what you write being fairly inexperienced with poetry, I'd love to see what you'd do with more practice. From the first line, this was a very enticing poem, and it held my attention the first way through. I love your use of imagery throughout.
I'm not fond of the word "shrivel" here. It makes me think of raisins, and almost sounds comical, but maybe that's just me. Maybe you could replace it with something else, though. It's just a suggestion.
Also, a quick nitpick: You have every single line capitalized. It doesn't need to be that way. You only capitalize when you're starting a new sentence. For instance, your third stanza would be like this:
I also happened to notice that the last three lines would flow better if they were one unbroken sentence, and that there was an unnecessary comma after the third line.
That's all I can really point out. The whole "being saved from the darkness by God" (which is my interpretation of this poem) has been done many times, but I like what you've done with it. Good job, and I want to see more poetry from you in the future, d'ya hear? XD
Keep up the great work!
by the way we righties will crush you in the forums you just wait till I'm back from vacation
Ohhh, I see what you mean. I'll work on it all! Thanks for reviewing.
Lefties will crush you guys while you're gone. 
Spoiler
Greetings Therese!
This is one exceptional poem! You said that you aren't great at writing poetry, but this piece proves that very statement wrong.
I love the way you describe the Light and the Dark, as well as the way in which you played between the two, making it seem like a never-ending battle. Bravo.
The grammar is satisfactory. I've been reading so many free verse poems lately that it seems like the only form of poetry still in use, but you executed the free verse remarkably well.
I cannot really comment on anything else concerning this poem without going into a ranting mode. My specialty is actually limericks and not large poems. Nevertheless, I am glad that I took the time to read this poem. Thus I am giving you 8.5 out of ten. Spectacular!!
Sincerely,
The Wandering Wizard
OMG, thank you for that encouraging review!!!