12+ Mature Content

The Golden Days- Chapter 4: Bath time.

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Sam heard a short, excited squealing sound emanating from Mina’s throat. Worried, Sam asked her what the problem was. She shook her head, but Ms. Nesbit spoke up. “There’s something she’s not telling you,” is what she uttered.

“What is it?” Sam questioned.

“I would tell you, but then I’d have to kill you,” Ms. Nesbit replied.

“Huh? For real?” Sam asked, surprised.

“Naw, just messin’ with you,” Ms. Nesbit responded. “But for serious, I’m not sure Mina would appreciate it if I told you.”

“C’mon. You said you knew a lot about Mina. I need to know,” Sam pressed on.

“I’m not telling you,” Ms. Nesbit insisted.

“Tell me something! Anything!” Sam shouted, suddenly overcome with anger.

“I’ll tell you in due time,” Ms. Nesbit told Sam.

“Now!” Sam yelled. He grabbed Ms. Nesbit by the collar and slammed her against the wall of her mini-mansion. He lifted her up and gave her the stinkiest of stink-eyes.

“Alright, alright. I’ll tell you something. Just put me down. I don’t enjoy heights,” Ms. Nesbit calmly informed Sam. Sam let go of her. “Let’s just say… It’s no coincidence that your bed was the one Mina showed up in.”

“Wha… there’s gotta be more than that,” Sam said weakly.

“You said that anything would suffice. I told you something, and that falls under the category of ‘anything’. Anyway, I’m going shopping. Take care while I’m gone.” She walked out the door, got in her car, and drove away.

“I… uh…” Sam began to speak. He closed his mouth when he realized that he was doomed to not finish his sentence. He let go of the topic and rolled Mina up to their shared room. He unpacked their bags and put all of their stuff away. “So, Mina, what do you wanna do for the rest of the day?” he asked her.

“I don’t know. What do you want to do?” Mina weakly replied.

“Just chill, I guess,” Sam told her.

“Sure,” said Mina, enthusiastically.

“So, Mina, what was that earlier?” Sam asked a little while later.

“Wh- what?” Mina questioned.

“You made a weird squealing noise, like you were excited about something when we got here,” Sam replied.

“Oh, that…” Mina started. “Well, it was just, I was happy.”

“Why?” Sam asked

“It’s just something about this place. It just sorta feels… right. Like I’ve been here before, and I enjoyed the stay.”

“Well maybe you have been here, and you just don’t remember,” Sam replied.

“Maybe I have,” Mina concluded.

Sam and Mina laid on the bed for a while, while Sam described his friends to Mina.

“So, we’ve got John, right, and he’s the troublemaker. He calls out in class, he teases the everloving crap out of me, he’s always there to laugh at my faults, et cetera,” Sam told Mina.

“He sounds mean. Why are you friends with him?” Mina asked.

“Well, he’s actually a really cool guy, and he can be nice when he wants to. But, that’s not very often,” Sam replied.

“And then there’s Sophie. She’s really shy, but she’s also really nice. She is kinds clingy, and is really scared of losing friends. She also gets love confessions every other hour,” Sam went on.

“Must be a privilege to be friends with such a popular girl,” Mina laughed.

“Yeah, it is.”

“Have you two… gone to the next level?” Mina asked Sam.

“Wh—What!? No! Why does everyone think that?” Sam yelled.

“Just curious,” Mina said.

“Those are my two best friends,” Sam told Mina. “Of course I have more, but I talk to those guys most.”

Just then, they heard a knock on the door. “Coming!” Sam yelled. He got out of bed and headed to the door. He opened it just to see Ms. Nesbit at the door. She was carrying an uncountable amount of bags at once, and upon seeing Sam, gave him an embarrassed smile.

“Heh, may have overdone it a bit,” Ms. Nesbit chuckled.

“Yah think?” Sam joked.

“Do you mind helping me with this?” Ms. Nesbit inquired.

“Not at all, ma’am,” Sam replied.

“I told you, cool it with the ‘ma’am’ stuff. I hate being formal,” Ms. Nesbit said.

“No kidding,” Sam muttered under his breath.

“What did you say young man?” Ms. Nesbit joked. “Anyway, do you know how to cook?”

“Yeah, of course,” Sam responded.

“Good. Do you mind cooking dinner?” Ms. Nesbit asked.

“Not at all. I just need you to keep Mina company while I’m cooking,” Sam told her.

“Yeah, sure,” Ms. Nesbit replied.

Sam helped Ms. Nesbit get all the bags in. He peeked into them, and it was all cooking ingredients. All of it. He brought it all into the kitchen while Ms. Nesbit headed up to his and Mina’s room. Sam was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of stuff Ms. Nesbit bought. He decided to make a lot of food to celebrate his moving in. He began preparing dinner.

After Sam finished making the dinner, the three residents of the mini-mansion ate it. After they finished devouring the food, Sam started washing the dishes. After that, he washed the dishes and packed up the leftovers while Ms. Nesbit and Mina chatted about stuff. When Sam finished with the dishes, Ms. Nesbit told them to go wash up. Sam got up and headed towards his room, but was stopped by Ms. Nesbit.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Ms. Nesbit questioned Sam.

“Uh, getting my clothes?” Sam told Ms. Nesbit, unsurely.

“So you’re just gonna ignore Mina?” Ms. Nesbit interrogated Sam.

“I—Wait! You want me to help her wash?” Sam asked in disbelief.

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m asking.” Ms. Nesbit assured him.

“B—b-but I’m a guy and she’s a girl!” Sam protested.

“I know,” Ms. Nesbit said in a condescending tone.

“So why don’t you wash her? You’re both girls,” Sam suggested.

“Let’s face it, she trusts you a lot more than she trusts me. You go do it,” Ms. Nesbit insisted.

“I, uh, okay…” Sam replied weakly.

“Good boy,” Ms. Nesbit said.

Sam walked over to Mina, got her into her wheelchair and wheeled her into the bathroom. “Wait up a sec,” Sam instructed her. She gave him a nod. Sam went to their room and got clothes for both of them. He returned to the bathroom and closed and locked the door. He started to undress Mina, before bursting out the door, screaming “THIS IS SO WRONG!” Ms. Nesbit, still sitting at the dinner table, looked up and gave an amused smile. She gave a slight nod and turned back to her phone. Sam reluctantly went back into the bathroom and closed the door once more. He finished stripping Mina down, put her in the bathtub, and started running the water. He took off his clothes as well, and took a seat next to Mina. He sat in silence until the tub was about 67/100’s way full, which is when he turned off the water. He grabbed a bar of soap and turned to Mina. As he was about to start rubbing her down with the animal fat, she suddenly spoke out.

“Pl-please don’t take advantage of me in here,” Mina requested of Sam.

Sam chuckled and assured her, “I won’t.”

“Okay,” Mina said weakly.

Sam proceeded to create bubbles on Mina’s skin with the lipids of some poor animal. After he was sure Mina was clean, he did it to himself. After they were both significantly cleansed, he let the water drain from the tub and got out. As he started to pick Mina up, she thanked him.

“What’s that for?” Sam asked her.

“It’s for giving me this experience,” Mina told Sam.

“O—okay…” Sam said.

“You know, you can learn a lot from a guy just based on how he washes you,” Mina informed Sam.

“Wha…?”

“For example, you washed me really gently and slowly, meaning that you consider me fragile and that you wanted to savor the experience,” Mina said in a matter-of-fact type voice. Sam shook his head and tried to ignore how awkward the situation had gotten. He failed.

Sam dressed her and put her in the wheelchair, then proceeded to put on the fabric that protects his body from harm. He found Mina staring at him and turned away, embarrassed. He wheeled Mina out of the bathroom and took the dirty clothes with him. He found Ms. Nesbit and asked her where to put the dirty clothes. She pointed to a bin, and Sam proceeded to toss the clothes into it.

As he wheeled Mina past her, Ms. Nesbit asked Sam, “How was it?”

Sam was immediately taken aback. He regained his composure and responded, “We didn’t, you know,…”

Ms. Nesbit responded, “I know. I was asking about how much you enjoyed caressing her naked skin while staring her in the eye. Another question, was that the most intimate you’ve ever gotten to a girl? Also, did you even wash her…”

“SHUT UP!” Sam commanded, his face blood red. “The bath was just fine.”

“Glad you enjoyed it,” Ms. Nesbit said, cracking up. “Get used to it.”

“Wait, are you telling me…?” Sam inquired.

“Yep,” Ms. Nesbit told him. “Night night.”

“I… okay. Good night,” Sam replied, drained.

He wheeled Mina up to their room, plopped her into the king-sized bed, crawled into the bed from the other side, then closed the lights. “So… That was an interesting experience, huh?” Sam asked. He turned around to look at Mina, just to be greeted by two deep blue eyes staring at him.

“Yeah it was,” Mina replied.

Sam wrapped his arms around Mina and hugged her close. He heard the water running in the bathroom. “I’m sorry if it was uncomfortable. I’m not used to doing that with a girl.”

“It was fine. I’m kinda happy that you were the one to wash me. There’s something about that woman that kinda, just, I don’t know. She’s kinda suspicious.”

“Yeah, I get that feeling, too.”

“So, about that, uh, thing in the bathtub…”

“Wait, you felt it?”

“Yeah.”

Sam turns away, embarrassed.

“Don’t worry. It was kinda cute.”

“You have no clue how much that hurts to a guy!”

“Sorry.”

“You better be!”

“You know, next time, I want you to get even closer.”

“Wha—Why?”

“Well, my eyesight’s kinda terrible, so I want to be able to see your face.”

“Okay, I guess.” Sam could feel his face reddening and his heart beating against his chest. That was the first time a girl not only invited him to bathe with her, but also to stick his face up close to theirs. “So, you ready for school tomorrow?” Sam asked, changing the subject.

“Yeah,” Mina answered.

Just then, the water in the bathroom stopped. Sam could hear footsteps outside the door, and the door to the room next to his opening and closing. Suddenly, he heard Ms. Nesbit talking.

“Yeah, they’re here.”

She’s on the phone, Sam thought.

“Of course, of course.”

“You know, you can be really annoying sometimes.”

“Yeah, sure I’d like to talk to her.”

“Jen? Yeah, it’s me.”

“Cool, cool. No, they’re completely safe.”

“No, they’re not ready for Stage 2.”

“Yeah, of course I’m using them for my plan.”

“They’re getting really close.”

“They’re absolutely compatible.”

“I know, right?”

“Yeah, Sam’s listening on us right now. No, Mina’s hearing isn’t good.”

Oh man, Sam thought. She knows I’m snooping!

“Kay. Talk to you later. Night night.”

Ms. Nesbit started talking to herself. “Oh, Sam. You’re so far from where you need to be. I really wish I could just tell it to you. It’s sad. You feel like you know Mina, like you know me. But in truth, you know nothing. You still have so much to learn.”

NEXT TIME

Sam and Mina go to school!

Ms. Nesbit reveals more about Mina!

Sam is still as awkward as ever!

More fanservice coming soon!

The Golden Days Chapter 5.0: These are (not) my friends!

Comments & reviews · 7
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User avatar
Noelle
Review
Noelle wrote a review · Sun Jun 29, 2014 8:26 pm

Hi there! Noelle back again for another Review Day review!

I'm all caught up! Woo hoo! :D

So I have to say that this is getting more creepy as this goes on. There were so many questions I had while reading the previous chapters, and now I have even more after reading this one. If your goal was to completely boggle my mind and make me question all of Sam's decisions, you've succeeded ;)

I feel like your dialogue is a bit unrealistic at times. This is an observation for all of your chapters so far, really. I mean, you write rather formally at times and it's starting to sneak into your dialogue. That's something you never want to do. Always keep the dialogue realistic. A seventeen year old boy would probably talk with improper grammar at times and have some type of slang that he uses. Keep that in mind while you continue writing.

What the heck is up with Ms. Nesbit?! I'm so frustrated! Each time I feel like I've figured her out, something new happens and I'm lost again. I really hope we find out more about her soon. Obviously there's something about her that's important. I do feel like we aren't going to find out about her until near the end :/

I really hope you write more of this! Let me know when you post the next chapter!

Keep writing!
**Noelle**

User avatar
rawrafied
Review

'Ello~~~! Rawrafied here, representing team Rugido Sol, to review your lovely story. I reluctantly must admit to having not enjoyed your previous installments to this novel, therefore I shall not comment on any of the overall story logic. I'm going to go line by line and pick out anything that catches my eye, okay? :3

Sam heard a short, excited squealing sound emanating from Mina’s throat. Worried, Sam asked her what the problem was.
It would've been better if you made him ask that out in dialogue. You could even alter the two sentences together to make a speech tag of it.

She shook her head, but Ms. Nesbit spoke up.
'But' seems in appropriate here. 'But' is more of an exception word and it seems like the women spoke in her stead. If Ms. Nestbit, however, is the one shaking her head, then switch 'she' and the name. But, from context, I'm assuming that's not what you intended, and simply mentioning that Ms. Nesbit was speaking in Mina's stead seems the better choice.

“There’s something she’s not telling you,” is what she uttered.
This speech tag is redundant. The 'Ms. Nesbit spoke up' was a better speech tag. All you had to do was just change the period to a comma.

“Huh? For real?” Sam asked, surprised.
Well that was an anti-climatic reaction. xD I'm gonna guess he knew she was being sarcastic.

This whole dialogue bit seemed to slow down with having to read all the speech tags. When you have only two speakers, feel free to omit some to give more dynamics/speed/urgency to the speech.

“Tell me something! Anything!” Sam shouted, suddenly overcome with anger.
The exclamation marks imply his shouting, especially if you mention he's 'overcome with anger'. I suggest omitting 'shouted,' and replace with 'was'. Even fell free to remove 'suddenly', since it's implied by the way your speech is formulated.

“Alright, alright. I’ll tell you something. Just put me down. I don’t enjoy heights,” Ms. Nesbit calmly informed Sam. Sam let go of her.
I'm surprised she can even talk without her airways being constructed with the way she's holding her. Also, the two 'Sam's back to back is repetitive. Would suggest rewording to avoid this.

I'm gonna stop here. Hope this was helpful. ^_^

First of all, the writing was awesome! It was seriously one of the best things I've read. I mean, "animal fat", "the lipids of some poor animal" has such a great description. you did a great job with leading up to this chapter. Dude! Awesome job! And another thing, that ending was really good. It wasn't cliche. And, the ''NEXT TIME'' was a great tie to the Neon Genesis Evangelion "Next Time"! Also, you put the ''(not)'' there. Nice sarcasm. I love sarcasm. So Evangelion!
some critique. I mean, sometimes, just get to the point! I love the detail but sometimes, it took awhile for you to get to the point. Overall, great job! :D YOU MUST POST MORE!

The "(not)" wasn't sarcasm. It's a reference to how all the titles of the Rebuild of Evangelion movies have that "(not)". For example, Rebuild of Evangelion 1.11: You are (not) alone, Rebuild of Evangelion 2.22: You can (not) advance, Rebuild of Evangelion 3.33: You can (not) redo.

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CarbRundum
Comment

Yeah, here to review my own work! First of all, the writing was awful! It was seriously the worst thing I've ever read. I mean, just get to the point already! I mean, "animal fat", "the lipids of some poor animal"? Just write "soap", man! And, I have no clue what's happening! I mean, at least post 3 other chapters before this! Seriously! Also, there's so much fanservice! ''He finished stripping Mina down, put her in the bathtub, and started running the water. He took off his clothes as well, and took a seat next to Mina. He sat in silence until the tub was about 67/100’s way full, which is when he turned off the water. He grabbed a bar of soap and turned to Mina. As he was about to start rubbing her down with the animal fat, she suddenly spoke out.''? Dude! Enough is enough! I can't even read that! And another thing, that ending sucked! I wanted you to just finish the story! And, the ''NEXT TIME'' was just a rip off of the Neon Genesis Evangelion "Next Time"! Also, you put the ''(not)'' there? So Evangelion! This whole thing sucks! Get off YWS, Me! Wait, what are you doing on my computer!?

Dude first your writing is awesome. Second, your imagery is awesome. Three, the "next time" was awesome. Four, the whole thing doesn't suck it is awesome. The word awesome is awesome. Okay bai. YOU HAS DO'D WELL. NOW I NEED LEARNED GRAMMAR. WELL JOB.

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Corncob
Comment

AAAAH WRITE MORE!!!



maybe the backs are the stories we made along the way
— soundofmind