MissGangamash

Hello, here to review! I'm not quite sure what is happening here. Is this the full story or a scene from something bigger? 'INT. ELEVATOR - CONTINUE As the numbers ...

Hello, here to review! The beginning has quite a cinematic quality to it by the way it focuses on the snow, not the body of the rabbit. I could totally ...

Hello, here to review! First off, you use 'she felt/she could feel' too much and it makes the voice sound passive. Instead of Cabalina felt the three pairs of eyes ...

Hello! Here to review! I thought this was funny. I don't know if it was supposed to be. But the way the narrator mocks the party goers while actually being ...

Hello! Here to review! Is this the whole piece or just a part of a bigger story? If its the whole piece, there needs to be more context for it ...

Hello! Here to review! 'anything given to me left my hands in pieces.' - I really like this line and how it foreshadows what is to come. You write simple ...

Hello! Here to review! I'm not great with poetry but I will give it a go. I like the reference to potato chips because I'm seeing that once you eat ...

Hello! Here to review! As this is a short piece, the flashbacks are very jarring. Is there a specific reason we are jumping from one event to the other so ...

Hello! Here to review! 'dead expression in his face' - should be 'on his face' It's odd to mention his expression then say he is expressionless. I know it's because ...

Hello! Is this part of a bigger story? I liked the writing and there was a good amount of emotion in the scene but as I don't really know how ...

Hello! Here to review! I'll review as I read- Okay, the first few paragraphs of her falling could do with a little more description of how she was falling. She ...

Hello! Here to review! Okay, so the beginning imagery of the body on the ceiling is chilling! And when the narrator can hear it on the floor, I was incredibly ...

Hello! Here to review! 'It was a black, long sleeved shirt with sweatpants of a like color.' - 'of a like color' is odd phrasing. Just 'a black, long sleeved ...

Hello! Here to review! I liked the energy of this piece. There is some beautiful imagery. I especially liked the sky being a blanket with the lantern light poking through. ...

Hello! I'm not great with poetry but I enjoyed this and I'm going to give reviewing it a go! Okay, I liked that you used words with double meaning to ...