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OK, Malachi hereto review. This story is captivating from the beginning.. Like others reviewers have asked, please change the bold lettering. Th only typo I saw was His hair was ...

OK, good writing, and although stories that don't have much action in them usually don't interest me, this one did. Maybe it had to do with the kid being named ...

OK, so here to review, is Malachi. I like the context of this poem, but I noticed a couple of verb tense problems. The challenges, may have been took their ...

"a newly born create unable to fend for itself." Should be creature. "Were are you taking me?" should be where. OK, this is good, you still got me hooked. But ...

So, here are my pointers for you. First of all: 1. I wouldn't put numbers such as and 12 in this book. At least not to start out with one. ...

I only got one paragraph before having to pause. It's very confusing, and you switch verb tense. I would suggest deciding which tense you want, them fixing this chapter. Also, ...

OK, this is great! you hooked me real good, pretty much from the start. This setting really is mysteriously interesting. The assassin is intriguing, mysterious, she seems at first totally ...

Hey, Malachi here to review on your poem, that is short but beautiful. So, you take a bunch of random things, yet put them all together perfectly. I like how ...

OK, here to review this. This was a nice poem. I myself have written a poem on sunsets, it's taken from a different view, but this one was just as ...

This is sad, but very honoring poem of all those who have died in the service. You explain the whole story very well, your last paragraph is really good, and ...

OK, I got 1 line down and had to stop. I eyed, should be connected with your next line. I see that happens a few times. I would suggest not ...

this chapter is very good. I like that although we don't know a lot about Tessa, you still don't give us a history of her, and yet I still get ...

OK, here to review. This isn't like any of your other writing, but never mind about that. I have to say I'm not really that interested in the story at ...

Hey, unlike most prologues this one is not an info dump about the history of your story, which is great. Your description of the setting is superb. Even the little ...

OK, wow, that was really good! It's an interesting point of view, but I like it. However, I'm a little confused as to your rhyming. At first I thought it ...