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This is an interesting approach to take with this story, and one I think is clever. Your details of the monsters trek to hall was great! I could feel the ...

Interesting prologue. I'm a bit confused as to what is happening, perhaps chapter 1 will help. You need some help however. Each time a character speaks you need to start ...

Cool idea, this is only the second time I've seen this done. The short scene left me wanting more, both characters seem strong and brave, I'd like to see them ...

OK, so cool idea, but some problems I noticed in it. 1. Most of your lines don't rhyme very smoothly, they seem forced. Through various processes i do go, Malliebility ...

Another great chapter! This chapter was nearly as long as the prologue, yet I couldn't quit reading it. Looking into Latae's life was a good switch from the previous two ...

Well done! This is a fast-paced chapter that kept me interested the whole way. Although you didn't spend much time on details of the place I can still envision it ...

This answers many questions after reading chapter 1 first. You did do a bit of tell in this chapter, something I don't really like, but because it is a prologue ...

Yes! Love it! 1. I feel for Tessa the whole time. She is a bit snappy, but still not enough to be unlikable. 2.Your world is awesome. I like that ...

Wow! Talk about a chilling nightmare. That scared me majorly. This sounds like the beginning of an interesting story. Good writing, I really got a sense of where she was, ...

This is still great. There are a couple things i really like. 1. Bryn's sitsters. They're reassuring and kind. It's ideal for Bryn, but I think it's realistic as well. ...

This was a very well written beginning. Like Xreigon said it could use more description, but the story was still very intriguing. I could feel for Sarah as she ran ...

Loved it. I always enjoy poems that have to do with nature. You did a good job of using creative words to describe something that to some might just seem ...

I have to agree with you on this. Writing is a whole awful lot of work and in the beginning you don't really get much attention. But you have to ...

This is a really good post. I know I have wished to fly, I might have even done it in dreams. But it also gives a good message about getting ...

This has a lot potential and it's intriguing, but I couldn't a picture of where anything was happening. Really there wasn't much description as to where the character starts. And ...