Someone set the boat adrift
On the passion-flower sea
The vast expanse between the earth
And darker tides of galaxy
*
Above the constellations chart
The route upon a velvet map
The purple crests that ride the sunbeams
Rise and fall, swirl and lap
*
Just below, the waning beacon
Closes like a fiery eye
Sinking, raging, bleeding, blazing
Burning down and out to die
*
Back on earth, us watching mortals
Can but only find in dreams
The boat that glides its way to heaven
On the passion-flower sea.
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Hey! Nice write there. I really like the lines
"The vast expanse between the earth
And darker tides of galaxy"
"Above the constellations chart
The route upon a velvet map''
You wrote a good fiction type of poem. You have great talent. With a bit more improvement you be a great poet. I like the words you have used. Keep Writing And I Will Keep Reviewing.
REGARDS.
Hey Hyena nice poem it sounds like- a ballad I think. It has the flow of nursery rhymes which aren't really meant for children and tells a subtle story. The poem has good rhyming and constant rhythm at a steady sing-song pace. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I like it. Keep up the good work.
Peace Y ~
OK, here to review this.
This was a nice poem. I myself have written a poem on sunsets, it's taken from a different view, but this one was just as good. ( I don't mean to sound bragging.) Your descriptive words really liven the poem, this is something I always look for in a poem. Your rhyming all went smoothly -something that isn't all found in poems- and your phrase passion-flower sea, is SO creative. Love it, keep it up!
Nice poem! It's really rare and new to see on my home page. Why does it remind me of the last book I read? Probably because It's incredibly fictional and you did a good job by creating the whole picture, or movie right in front of my eyes. I like the way it flows! It sounds mysterious in a good way, that's exactly what I like to read. You did an amazing job, keep writing and don't be afraid to tell me if you post another work!
~Bard
Thank you!
Unfortunately for some reason the editing thing wouldn't let me separate the stanzas with a single space, so I had to make do with stupid little asterisks. >:(