Messenger

The very first paragraph is really good. I don't think that it was necessary to put Soske's name in their. Sometimes it's better to wait, but it isn't a huge ...

WOW! Talk about a great first chapter to lure in any reader. From the first words I was intrigued. By the end I was stunned. The last Aline was not ...

This was a great poem about serenity, and where you can find it. I always love well described poems, so I liked this, and I always love well described poems ...

This is a great follow-up to your prologue. It skips several years, but since it doesn't seem like much has happened that's fine. Very well written, but I think you ...

This prologue leaves you wondering and wanting more, so great job on that. I can for the most part, envision the setting, but I have no idea what the MC ...

"Whatever advantage she’d had or could have garnered from the situation, she’d succinctly burnt it into crisp ashes, then ground the ash into powder, thrown the powder to the wind ...

This chapter is really good! I like how it shows more of Ren's background, what's going through her head, her struggle to do right, and Marcy is a lovable character ...

OK, glad you switched the font so it's not all bold. Now, I noticed a few spots where you wrote in the present tense. for example: The fastest I could ...

OK, here to review this awesome poem. This left you hanging. Do you dare what? Your first stanza was amazing. I loved the touches about the outside. So it began ...

OK, great description here! This poem hooks you the first line. The comparison of a lady and mist went together great, and I loved the story of how the mist ...

OK, Malachi hereto review. This story is captivating from the beginning.. Like others reviewers have asked, please change the bold lettering. Th only typo I saw was His hair was ...

OK, good writing, and although stories that don't have much action in them usually don't interest me, this one did. Maybe it had to do with the kid being named ...

OK, so here to review, is Malachi. I like the context of this poem, but I noticed a couple of verb tense problems. The challenges, may have been took their ...

"a newly born create unable to fend for itself." Should be creature. "Were are you taking me?" should be where. OK, this is good, you still got me hooked. But ...

So, here are my pointers for you. First of all: 1. I wouldn't put numbers such as and 12 in this book. At least not to start out with one. ...