Merlin34

I liked this. Like you said, it was a bit choppy, but it was clever. It felt almost... musical to read. One thing I would try to avoid is mentioning ...

I like it. I find it simple and yet funny at the same time. Sounds like something a pint-sized philosopher would write. Little nitpick: There's no cure for cooties now, ...

I like this, but there are several parts of the prose that just confuse me. This paragraph especially. Like the previous reviewer said, there were some grammar mistakes. It was ...

I did notice a few grammar errors, but nothing too serious. I'll go through your first paragraph and bold bits that could be improved. “Melanie, stop,”I cried (1) . I ...

This was... chilling and yet beautiful at the same time. You say you don't normally write things like this... are you sure? It seems like your brain does all the ...

I liked this. I feel it captures to mood quite nicely. There's a lot of emotion. There's on continuity error I noticed, however. When the ambulance pulled up I looked ...

This is interesting. It definitely hooks me in and makes me want to read more. Who is the man she's visiting? Why is she taking the pills? One thing I ...

Hello, tRiCk. I think I'll review this here piece. (Funny, there was a member of my forum named T-Fox, who also had an avatar of Fox.) I liked this. The ...

*claps* This was amazing. You captured the essence of the original Norse myth perfectly. I really could not find any real problems. Question... will you continue this? Because as it ...

Like KanenRenoir said, you have a lot of errors and run-on sentences. I still liked it though. It seems like you wrote it while drunk with creativity and inspiration, but ...

I liked this. The imagery was good, but you could do to describe the characters a bit more (unless you've described them more in previous chapters). Dracon's emotional reactions are ...

*claps slowly* Bra... vo. I'm the guy who reviewed Chapter 4 the first time you posted it. I don't know what you were doing in the last month and a ...

Uhh... have you ever actually been in a romantic relationship before? Or seen one in real life? Because the way you portray this is extremely unrealistic. People do not start ...

It's hard to review this since it's so short, but I'll do it anyway. Overall, I wasn't really impressed by this part. I've skimmed through the other parts, and they're ...

Well, it's hard to comment on something so short, but I liked it. It does make me want to read on. Just a couple errors in the grammar I noticed. ...