Mars

[dies laughing]

Hello again :) Sorry it took me so long to get back to this. Wonderful revisions here, but I agree with Snoink that you could omit a few stanzas (the ...

Oh also, change 'extreme lonely feeling' to 'extreme lonliness.' Okay, nit-picking really over this time, I promise.

No problem :D If you want, you can click 'edit' on the upper right side of your post and edit your poem, you don't have to post a new one.

Did you mean that your VP girl has a very big ego and feels much too good to have physical contact of whatever type with this individual? Yes. Exactly. Not ...

Edited.

Nutty, thanks for the review. I agree with your wording suggestions-I'll edit it soon. And yes, there is a reason for the beat, you'll see. :) Thanks Eraqio too. I ...

I like this part as well - both "gasping" and "grasping" fit well. But it depends on which one you'd rather - grasping as in physically trying to get a ...

Thanks a lot, guys. All the reviews are really helpful! Umm...I deleted the part that corresponds to the title. So I need a new one. But I have no ideas...*nudge ...

Oh! Really good improvements! The first two stanzas are now my favorites. *clicks gold star button*

@Monstrar: Thanks! @Nolan: Yeah, I agree. It was sort of one those, 'I'm just going to put words on the page' things, so I didn't think about format so much. ...

Haha I like this a lot. I especially like the last two lines. No suggestions (:

I liked this piece a lot. It's really original and witty and enjoyable. My only criticism is that, while your beginning was fun, I was really confused about the imaginary ...

Oops, I think you posted a new topic instead of replying to one. Where's a moderator when you need them? :P

Edited. I changed a few things and added a bit. Thanks for the reviews, guys!