Mad

I like the rhythm of the poem and the couplet you have on the second and fourth lines, when I was reading over it put emphasis on the ending. It ...

Not plain at all but perfect is used a bit too much to be effective each time. They peopled books and starred in sitcoms, perfect in their lack of effort ...

The feeling I get from the first three lines is really strong, the words make everything surreal and important. The "Glancing" and how they look opposite ways makes me feel ...

Introduction is nice, I get a good look at Phyllis and the way you describe him is interesting. "Burning obsession" - Nice touch. It was hard to say who was ...

Well it is hard for me to critique if I am sure of the content. The start appears a bit vague to me, especially the second line. It doesn't really ...

I see that you are going for effect, the short lines, the more graphic images but I don't really feel anything when I read it. I didn't feel any empathy ...

I like the tone of the poem, when I read it the lines seemed slow and methodic, not savouring each detail but presenting each part without haste. I'm not sure ...

Hey Amelia, it's looking good at the moment. I like the Ms Mills character that you've brought in, don't know why really - she has personality. She wore no frivolities; ...

In each man doth cupid sits poise, stringing his bow, singing, though inaudible his voice. For long ago was his body done in, now flies he in spirit, name's now ...

It's nice and I can see that you're way of dividing it up is effective - that sort of thing isn't really something that I like but I can see ...

I want to jump off a mirror into a pit of shadow Where dust is dawn and light is dark. The sky is clouded by disparate, A conscious decision by ...

It's nice in a simplistic way, I'm not really into the more nature related poetry. Trees seem to be a recurring object in them. Like leaves are many, tree is ...

I’m always on the outside Looking in. Skirting the edges Slipping in between the shadows Unnoticed. The second last line there is a little long and it sort of throws ...

I liked the content but the overlapping lines was a bit disconcerting. It flowed really well because of it but it came across as a bit prose like, because most ...

I think that it is an extremely good first piece, I'm not sure about the line length though. You keep the rhythm fairly regular because all the lines are around ...