Published May 26, 2007
It seems that here the world has never
quite caught its breath or relinquished the
relics of its past. It hints at its renaissance in
the meandering cobblestones and the crumbling
pillar ruins; it is not loud or brash, simply there.
There is no rush, no grief at its decay. All
urgency swings in the gradual pendulum
of amassed time, the way the wisteria
clings in masses to the face of michelangelo.
‘Have you forgotten?’ the way hands naturally
clasp here, and how the sweet perfume of lilies and
forget-me-nots do not hesitate to cradle your weary head.
‘He loves me, he loves me not’; the daisy lays down
its christened life for but another chance to unveil love.
“How could I forget?”, the words exchanged beneath bridged
pavilions are like coins tossed into the trickling stream
for luck. The price of love was always tears but for a nickel
more you can stay a while longer, if you wish.
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141,368 Literary Works • 674,383 Reviews
I love it, but I'd use a capital M for Michaelangelo! Your imagery is amazing, and the enjambment helped it flow which I think helped create the peaceful nature of the poem.
I really like this, especially the closing stanza. The 'christened head' confused me - I don't understand why it is christened? But that may be just me!
I like the tone of the poem, when I read it the lines seemed slow and methodic, not savouring each detail but presenting each part without haste. I'm not sure if that's how you intended it to be but that's how I interpreted it.
I like the way you integrate art into the poem, the renaissance and michelangelo. Though you don't use renaissance in the sense of the period more that achievement - either way I thought it worked well.
The way you use head twice, so close together disrupted the tone that I had when reading it. It made me stop for a moment when I read it.