Another poem meant to inspire! Hope you enjoy!
Through the green of woods I wander,
In world of shade and dappled sun.
There is much I often ponder,
Like leaves are many, tree is one.
So is the world, I think again,
As I have many times before.
Deer, human, eagle, fish, or wren,
We come together in this lore,
This ancient tale of all that lives,
Beneath this shining, bright blue sky,
The wonderous wonders this world gives,
To those who don't just pass it by.
As I continue on my way,
My views are in a whole new light,
The dew is sparkling in the day,
We see by so much more than sight.
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Canary word: Present
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Thanks for the help!
Yes, I think that sounds better.
Do you think something more like this for my second stanza would be better?
And so my heart rebuilds, rewords,
What I've thought many times before.
From cities to the bison herds,
We come together in this lore,
You're probablly right. One thing's for sure, my second stanza certainly seems to be the worst.
Oh, and when I say "So is the world, I think again" I'm referring to the "leaves are many, tree is one" sentiment. So, I'm basically saying that the world is like the tree which is like the idea. It's kind of criptic, I know, and it is certainly part of what detracts me from the stanza. I'll work on it.
Thanks for the comments!
It's nice in a simplistic way, I'm not really into the more nature related poetry. Trees seem to be a recurring object in them.
I like that, it puts forward a nice little question which I think is quite effective.
I don't think that this sentence flows really well. "So is the world, I think again" I don't reallyget what you're talking about there. I think that the again wren rhyme sounds really forced, it doesn't work anywhere near as well as the ponder rhyme (that was a good one, I barely noticed it)
Effective ending, I think that it really is a nice little poem; not really my favourite subject though.
Ok i really liked this apart from:
The wonderous wonders this world gives,
Wonderous wonders would be good if it hadn't been done before so many times!
Other than that a succsessful poem, keep writing!
Meevs
x
Thanks!
Whhat could be more perfect than this on EARTH DAY!!!
this poem is lovely, you've captured nature really beautifully.
sure is inspiring!