Mad

The story had me hooked. Your first paragraph sets the scene well and the way your story is narrated adds a lot. I like the sardonic tone that he takes ...

It's interesting and has my attention. Not much more I can say without reading the previous part and the end, so once I've done that I'll add more. The rider ...

Nice Goldie. You're very good at using this two line couplet form. The use of rhyme doesn't distort what you are trying to get over at all, it makes all ...

:lol: It was all very good up until that second last stanza. That one made me laugh. The wind screams through the trees Like a child emptying their lungs That ...

our livers rot, Could you make livers, liver's? I thought it was something quite different when I first read it. Short and to the point. In this case the conciseness ...

It was nicely written, the description was very good. There were just a few small areas which stopped the story flowing well. She snivelled fresh tears shedding from her eyes. ...

encased in murmurs, escorted by questions, I like your use of descriptions here, the use of language adds something to the murmurs and questions making them stand out more and ...

It's a nice poem and I like your use of rhyme - something that I like to see in poems - but your rhythm is a bit off. The moon ...

The poem has some very powerful emotions in it, but it doesnt quite flow. The rhythm of the lines is a bit stunted, which works at time for the abruptness ...

It's intriguing, I cant quite tell whats happening which is good. It makes me want to read more. There were a few little spelling mistakes or sentences which didnt quite ...

I really liked that, it flowed really well. All the alliteration and rhymes that were encorporated throughout were really good. I can't really point out anything that I didnt like ...

That was really, really wonderful. It was beautifully descriptive and the paring off of contrasting object towards the end was artfully done. There were just one or two glitches in ...

Its a nice story, a nice easy read but it is a bit unsatisfying. The way Jude so easily accepts being turned into a chicken without any real panic doesn't ...

I like the fact that you have used a rhyming pattern, I personally much prefer poems with some rhyming scheme compared to those without. The moon projects an icy-cold, silver ...

The winding streets and alleyways are covered with filth, and you can either protect yourself, or you are dead. I think that you just need to repharse the latter part ...