Mad

A walk down an empty street, Or down a covered freeway. Works nicely to create a setting. The use of the word "Covered" doesn't seem quite right tho. It makes ...

Well, I get mixed feelings from this poem. It reads a bit too much like prose at times, yet it still is good. The informality helps the reader connect, which ...

Very nice. I can't see you does that make me blind? I can't hear you does that make me deaf? That all works very well, involves the senses and so ...

Very nice. The short line are extremely effective and the way that they run onto each other even more so. I like the way that you made "small brown house", ...

First off, very nice, reads like an epic. In the first four lines I think you overused the "ay" rhyme. The double use of day, doesnt quite work. Yesterday or ...

Tortall, Tortall. Is this off Tamora Pierce's thing? I think I can see the connection, and I guess your name would make sense then - Alanna Lionheart? Well anyways now ...

Is it a haiku? I couldn't offer you any crit on it. I'm not much of a haiku person and because it's all so short and theres all sorts of ...

A gentle breeze came sweeping by screaming volumes in my ear Interesting contrast you create here. and i began to run through dark woods and beyond all full formed thoughts ...

It's very confusing to read. I think you need to add some punctuation. why dont you just let me fill my cup i need to hang my brain up tonight.. ...

First of all, before I even start to critique, it's a very well written and thrilling read. Now on to the critique! I was released and thrown into the opposite ...

It's a nice enough poem. The couplet rhymes add simplicity. In the first stanza the repetition of "Playing" is good. The unknown toadstool part was quite inventive, it added something ...

Taneantra’s hand groped the air for a candle on her bedside table and then froze when it slapped cold concrete. Her eyes wandered aimlessly before she began to recall where ...

He's stuck inside his misery. He's washed through pains on windowsills. I like the play on words there, pains/panes. Very clever. "I've come to take they hurt away!" Hands drop, ...

Overall the poem flows well and you make effective use of punctuation, making the poem much easier to read and directing the reader's attention to certain aspect. Feel you hug ...

Overall it's a decent poem, but the rhythm is a bit uneven. You start with some much shorter lines and then you build into longer ones. War is a sorrowful ...