The Cries of War
BY: MICHAEL RIST
War is a sorrowful thing
For in it are the cries of battle
Which brings fear to chaos.
The cries of war have echoed throughout history.
The cries of war have forged and ended empires
For with each battle is a loser and winner.
The loser faces the fear of extermination
While the winner is awarded dominion.
War is a curious thing
For most hate it but
Many encourage it.
War is fueled by the soldiers
But is burned by polotics.
War makes human fight human
Brother fight brother
Why does war make us cast aside morale values
For domination and the seven deadly sins?
War accomplishes nothing except
To strengthen cowards and
Make brother fight brother
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Hey guys,
Thanks for the responses though i really wasn't go for rhyme. I will take everything you guys said and work on this poem.
Stupidiot92
...I didn't see any rhyme.
This was a nice poem, got the point across and good word usage. The two stanzas just seem a little un-proportioned to me. I didn't really see the reason for the split of the two right at that point. Maybe if you broke the whole thing into four equal stanzas? I'm not sure, I'm just a freak for even stanzas I guess. Lol
All over good poem and real feeling throughout. Good job.
Keep it up!
~Ried
Overall it's a decent poem, but the rhythm is a bit uneven. You start with some much shorter lines and then you build into longer ones.
It's all very nice but it lacks a defining emotion, you talk about sorrow but do I feel sorrowful when reading over it? Do I feel fear? I think that you need to use some more descriptive words to set a mood, or create a tone for the poem.
You use domination earlier so i would try and avoid using it more than once throughout. It doesn't sound quite right and there are heaps of other words that would fit in just as well.