Published April 1, 2007
Child of the wilderness,
A magic only you can control,
Animals come to you
Saving Tortall comes easily to you
Kings, mages, and knights all call you friend.
Dark magic is your lover.
For you are the Daine the wild mage.
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141,253 Literary Works • 674,330 Reviews
I liked it cant wait to see more..
right on all accounts.
Tortall, Tortall. Is this off Tamora Pierce's thing? I think I can see the connection, and I guess your name would make sense then - Alanna Lionheart?
Well anyways now to a crit.
"Animals come to you" I think you need a full stop at the end of it.
"For you are the Daine the wild mage." I think you also need a comma in this sentence, "For you are the Daine, the wild mage."
The poem is well worded, but lacks a bit of punch, so to speak. I think that you should find a way to make that last line more striking. The use of either a rhyme(internal, or otherwise), alliteration etc would add more to the ending.
Daine? Fairly sure this is Tamora pierce now. Immortals series?