Liz

Why the shrug? I really like this. It's a good, solid concept and it works towards the message of the poem really well. I especially liked the middle three stanzas. ...

I like it. This line: "The mists still circle around me enveloping my malleable body into silver threads of the cosmos" is probably a bit long, it would flow better ...

we don't turn round in your convertible the cd player blasts inspiration to homeless people lying on benches but we don't look back into the sun I think the second ...

Not bad. There is definitely some potential for a great poem. I'll try to help and suggest improvements. This first kiss was so different from the last So full of ...

Overall, it's good, but it does need a little fixing up. I am an ever changing metaphor living in a web of lies just outside the rim of realty Make ...

Interesting, but it's hard to comment on such a short beginning. It seems a little unorginal at the moment to me, but I know that could easily change. I don't ...

Well, you could expand on certain points. You tend to skip from one great idea to the next, before the reader has an idea of what you're talking about. I ...

Not bad, but it seemed a little awkward at times. I think you need to work on the flow a bit. As an example, you might want to fix the ...

Not bad, but I've read too many of poems on this subject. If you want to be sucessful you need to think of an original way of putting your ideas ...

Wow. I liked it, but I agree with faith: words need space to breathe. If you cram too many complex words into one line and the reader has to read ...

I like it. At times it seemed a little awkward, but nothing that a few simple corrections wouldn't fix. In the first stanza, did you mean "giving way to gravity?" ...

Great. I love the atmosphere you created. The only things I had a problem with were the repetition of "Imprints" in the fourth and sixth stanzas, and the use of ...

Good. I definitely got the impression that he's a real, raw guy. Lke Reichieru said, you didn't make him sound fake at all, so that was great. However, you don't ...

I like it. I thought the first couple of lines were a little cliched, but the last line of that stanza is great. Maybe fix up the beginning a bit, ...

Well. Basically it's just full of cliches, with an unoriginal idea, but I know you can fix that. You make me feel, unlike any other. You take away the pain ...