Crying alone,
Always alone,
Clasping my escape within my hands,
Shaking so violently, but careful not to spill,
One drop could mean I stay here in this hell, and it would only get worse
I fall to my knees begging for forgiveness and understanding,
As I lift the bottle to my lips,
The scars upon my wrists remind me of prior attempts to escape,
No, not this time, I have to make it somewhere better,
Somewhere, anywhere is better than this,
I tip the bottle back & death falls hard upon the back of my throat nearly choking.
I swallow & wait.
Not so long will I have to wait,
Wait for liberation
Hope
Happiness
I'm comming
I begin to fade away as I fall asleep,
I fall forward & complete darkness fills my mind,
Ah serenity
This poem has not been edited or fixed from its original version yet. Well, except for the words Ah Serenity at the end and the fact that from Not so long... on was not part of the real original poem of mine. I found this in my old room and decided to post it here. I shall return with more! Gwahahaha!
Let me know what you think,
DT
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Not bad, but I've read too many of poems on this subject. If you want to be sucessful you need to think of an original way of putting your ideas across. I don't think the "Ah serenity" fitted in. Also, I think the length of the lines need to be fixed up a bit, try to have the words more evenly-spread. Anyway, I think with a little work this could be a good poem!