Young Writers Society

*grins*

Congratulations!

YAY!

Sorry I didn't find this earlier...*smacks forehead*. Very spiffy, I might say.

Ieatworms wrote:About the "cat-scrathed" v "snake skin" debate; WHY WRITE SOMETHING IF IT DOESN"T MAKE SENSE TO YOU? NEVER WRITE SOMETHING BECAUSE YOU THINK IT SOUNDS COOL. Poetry communicates. It shouldn't distract with cool catch phrases.

About the "cat-scrathed" v "snake skin" debate; WHY WRITE SOMETHING IF IT DOESN"T MAKE SENSE TO YOU? NEVER WRITE SOMETHING BECAUSE YOU THINK IT SOUNDS COOL. Poetry communicates. It shouldn't distract with cool catch phrases.

Just to be honest...it was a bit boring because I felt so bloody disconnected. However, I will try to see pass that. I agree with River Girl, the imagery is very beautiful. God, I can't believe you're 11 years old.

i like this alot, its really unique and has beautiful imagery. it gets a little repetitive though, cuz every sentence starts with "I." but its really good. i would definitely go with snake skin eyes. as for the title, i dunno, maybe "the girl with snakeskin eyes"? i dunno. i suck at titles.

Overall, it's good, but it does need a little fixing up.

I am an ever changing metaphor
living in a web of lies
just outside the rim of realty

I am the person that lurks in the shadows of the alley
north of sanity,
and south of judgment

I am that person that you see
but you're not sure if I'm really there
for I am misty in a way

I am someone that drinks the drops of rain
falling from the cornsilk colored sky
just because I can

I am the person that lays in the grove of forgotten flowers
while the birds of neverending
sing their sorrow song

I am a person that walks along the beach at night
just to see the blackening waves

I talk a different way then how people think I should
I walk a different way then what is considered normal

For I am the girl with the cat scratched (Snake skin) eyes.

cat scratched (snake skin) eyes

^^ looks good like that...

Good luck with the contest :thumb:

Cool. I'm not sure if I like how every stanza starts with 'I', but maybe that's the point. You have some really beautiful imagery.

A few typos:

"sainity" should be sanity.

"your" should be you're.

"blackning" should be blackening.

"diffrent" should be different.

"considerd" should be considered.

I'd say use snake skin instead of cat scratched because neither of them make much sense and snake skin sounds better, in my opinion.

Other than that, I wouldn't change much cause it's really good. Good luck with the poetry contest!