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Re: Rose
Ha ha, as someone who works in a rose greenhouse, I could not resist giving this one a look. Criticisms first :) I am not sure how I feel about ...
Aug 15, 2014 -
Re: New story
Hey, Laminated here. I'll keep it a bit short. This seems like an intro to a story? I'll assume that's what it is. I would capitalise words, unless you left ...
Feb 23, 2014 -
Re: Staccato
Lovely work! Rarely am I a fan of rhyming poems, but you managed to nail it. A solid first couplet, I like the reference to Icarus (though I know him ...
Oct 5, 2013 -
Re: The Thing About Time - Prologue
Hello! Welcome to YWS! :D This sounds like an immensely promising piece, and I'd love to hear more about it! Now, I can only partially critique the prologue, because I ...
Aug 7, 2013 -
Re: Teachers Lounge - Chapter 1
Oh, this is cute. It made me feel so good inside :) You started the characters off very distinctly and with their own voices, which was good! Particularly Mr. Thomas, ...
Jul 19, 2013 -
Re: Timba and James
I be here for da reviewin'! Lovely piece of work here! I don't usually review prose but I figured I'd make an exception. Overall, you did an excellent job, at ...
Jul 19, 2013 -
Re: Waxen Mason Jars
Here's your review promised of olde! Unfortunately, there's something going on here at a deeper level that I haven't grasped. I don't know what it means, which is saddening. I'd ...
Jul 19, 2013 -
Re: It's Not You, but It Isn't Me, Either
Hallooo, me again! Beautiful, as always. Excellent word choice, vocabulary, imagery and all the rest. You've communicated a clear idea concisely and effectively. I have a few suggestions, rather than ...
Jul 19, 2013 -
Re: Lucifer
Helloooo Going with what BlackNether said, Lucifer's goal was not standing for his beliefs, it was to establish himself as the ultimate power in the universe, already ruled by a ...
Jul 18, 2013 -
Re: You look like gold to me
I am blown away. A hundred bravos. Ahh, to pick just one verse that's my favourite... I must say this one stands out for me; as for “beautiful” - I ...
Jul 5, 2013 -
Re: Snail
Helloooo! Laminated here for some reviewing action. Firstly, I loved how you basically captured essence of snail right here. It's cheery and well paced. Also, the rhyme scheme sounded natural ...
Jul 3, 2013 -
Re: Ashes and Shards
Hello! Laminated here for a reviewing. As has been said already, the lack of punctuation at the end of some lines is a bit distracting. I wouldn't punctuate it the ...
Apr 28, 2013 - Re: Lady Morrison Apr 13, 2013
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Re: Second chance
This is beautiful. It tells a story like a true country song. Some of the phrases you use I absolutely loved, like "Big city dreams broke my small town heart." ...
Feb 5, 2013 -
Re: Life vs. Religion
Your essay has good flow. You have a clear, narrowed thesis and good background information. I would include references if you plan on publishing the piece, though. Your description of ...
Dec 30, 2012
