KnightlyAngel09

Pretenses. [A poetry] Even if you kiss me, it won't feel so right. (This is just a suggestion but 'it wouldn't feel right' sounds better) Even if you hug me, ...

Hello. I could lose myself in her pretty blue eyes like a sailor on the sea, (a sailor in like a bird in the sky. Sorry that was quite a ...

Hello.:) Wait, do you mean reckless? or is Recklass really a word? "These recklass nights desire to run from confusion." THe first line is a little confusing. The night is ...

HeLLo.:) As to your poetry, usage of words, imagery, metaphors and flow, I have no problems. It's all absolutely beautiful. But the spaces between the lines are an overkill. Chnage ...

Very naturey.:) Your first poem was alright. But it started getting really choppy in the last part. Starting fro the snow falling line. All the rest of it however was ...

Hello.:) Life: I guess all it took was a simple voice, A voice that turned into a million voices, And guided the world beyond its imagination. guided the world beyond ...

Hello.:) Welcome here. You're quite new I see. Perhaps no one has told you yet? Er... There's a 2:1 policy on this site. For every one literary post you must ...

I'm not sure if the others will agree with me but the spacing added to the whole effect of this poem. I have no qualms about your punctuation either because ...

Hello.:) A little girl by the sea Crying for all to see She always sat under the tree Wishing that one day she could be free this line is a ...

First part is rather satirical. Have you watched the documentary 'Zeitgeit'? Your tone in the first part of the poem rather resembles the one in the film. Half-humor, half-dark. I ...

Lovely concept to write about. This is a really good poem. Although, I must say that the feeling of hope it should be giving at the end of the poem ...

Hello.:) First, I must say that the lines were rather messy. It was jumping from one idea to the next but you said you had to use a list of ...

Lovely poem. I don't mind that some lines rhyme and others don't honestly. This poem flowed perfectly. Also, I really like the concept in this poem. 'the betrayer betrayed'. It's ...

This is really beautiful. You use words in the loveliest way. This poem is heart-wrenching, honestly. It also gives a very nostalgic feeling to the reader. I suppose that is ...

Hello.:) Like a sky, it is eternal, 'the sky' would be better I believe. This is really good. I think description, personification, similes and metaphors are all such important parts ...