Too familiar are the notes
of Moonlight Sonata to me,
like the hasty hum of roads
searching for a place to flee.
It plays to me always –
or whenever I look through
the stack of sepia pictures.
A wine glass, half-full,
stays within my reach
and sometimes never leaves
as I attempt to bleach
out the red-wine stains
that have dried many times
and are now in sepia – red
in a stack of memories
filling an empty bed.
Too familiar are the sounds
of half-full wine glasses to me
in a rhythmic jingle of rounds
searching for a place to flee...
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,828 Reviews
Thank you so much guys! I'm really pleased you like this poem.
Hey ES! ;-p
The reason why I described the glass as 'half-full' is because I wanted to emphasise the man's pain. I'm using irony here. He tries to maintain an optimistic view of the world and he even tries to ease his pain a little:
However, despite his desperate attempts to pick himself up, the pain never leaves.
The 'half-full' wineglass is just a metaphor for his pathetic, desperate emotional state.
Anyways, thanks for your comments and I'll sure keep writing.
I agree with Knightly... this is really good.
It has the power to sort of suck the life out of you, leaves you empty, which makes it really powerful.
Emptiness is the hardest emotion to convey, because it is no emotion at all, just a sort of numb melancholy, it needs to be described subtley in order to be most powerful.
Basically, you nailed it
One thing that irked me was how you said the wine glass was half full. Actually it didn't irk me, it was just ironic because of the old 'is this the glass half-full or half-empty?' optimist vs pessimist conundrum. Don't worry, the image is still the same and it fits the rhyme so well I don't know how you'd change it.
I really like the imagery of the roads, the colour sepia-red and the sound of wine glasses.
Great piece mate; my star button isn't working though... sorry
This is really beautiful. You use words in the loveliest way.
This poem is heart-wrenching, honestly. It also gives a very nostalgic feeling to the reader. I suppose that is truly what you wished to achieve here. There seems to be all sorts of colorful memories reverberating beneath the words. This is for those who never got a happy ending you say?
I would change nothing in your poem. Grammar is good. FLow is flawless and word choice is absolutely perfect.
keep writing.
--Knightly