Hello.
Now, starting with the title. Be careful, there's also a song with the same name. The stanzas are kind of unbalanced, I'd make each the same amount of lines.
I think that there's a lot of repetition in the first stanza. I would add more all over. Leave, leave, leave, leave....
Some lines seem too line; others need some description added to them.
Other than that, I think it was amusing! Good job!
I noticed that your strengths are stylistic devices and alliteration/repetition. Your weaknesses are figurative language, symbolism, and occasionally grammar.
--Colt
Points: 1155
Reviews: 98
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