Kit

Welcome, welcome. This really sucked me in. I smell John Steinbeck, DH Lawrence, Annie Proux, Joanne Harris, a little George Orwell, perhaps, along with your allusion to "Charlotte's Web", your ...

Welcome, welcome. I was actually quite drawn to the bleakness of this piece, the mechanics, and I disagree in this instance with Cade. I think the lack of meaning has ...

I like this a lot, it's universal, insightful, there's a delicate deliberation in your phrasing which is quite lovely. I'd be interested to see you play with some sense imagery, ...

**clears throat puts on her cynical critic hat** Not drastically devoid of delight. I appreciate the nod to TS Eliot, Lewis Carroll, and early Peter Carey. This occurs to me ...

This is such hot back humour, almost makes me wish I liked coffee. We've got the logic of Sade, the sardonic wit of Miriam Toews, Augusten Boroughs, of course, but ...

I can see some of the things you're playing with here. If your going for literary legitimacy, probably it's better to go the whole hog and embrace existentialism or fatalism, ...

There's a little of Kipling and Dahl in your tone, elements of Hemingway and Tolkien. A lot of visual rhyme and forced rhymes, but hey, Tolkien did that some times, ...

They don't know what's so fun about shooting an empty can of beans with a rifle--is it the way the can jumps into the air on a successful hit, the ...

I think there is much to be said about small spoken work. Lyrical, it moves soft across the palate. Sombre, subverting the bucolic agrarian imagery of the field with the ...

I disagree entirely with Muffin and Misty's honorable opinions, in fact, that's quite contrary, saying it's pretentious and infantile. That's one of the thing that disappoints me with this site, ...

There are some very strong lines in here that work well dramatically. The lipstick and the flowers are evocative, I'd be interested to see the staging of this, I think ...

You have some interesting ideas in here, I hope you explore the new metaphors you have here, I really like "insipid knuckles". Not a fan of the ivory, it's overused ...

Wait a minute.. wait a minute.. YOU being ATTENTIVE to description? Now that's just dirty, wicked. Music bled from the floor-to-ceiling speakers And you use VERBS to create your imagery, ...

In terms of first person, I was thinking a little of Sylvia Plath, like in "the Mirror" or Robert Frost's "A Peck of Gold". Kind of a balance between a ...

Oh come on, you guys don't know Hellen of Troy? And since when has classical allusions made a poem invalid, back in the day that's all the poetry people wrote. ...