z

Young Writers Society



Melnikov #1 /P

by Riedawriter23


XD, they are so cute! And when you said it started off with sex, I didn't expect it to be that! Lol. But eh, it was different and fit well :).

*sigh* I love the way they act around each other now. And that Jon is alive first of all! They'll have problems later though right? That always makes things really awesome.

Really can't wait to read more!!

~Rieda


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163 Reviews


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Thu Aug 02, 2007 1:50 pm
Kit wrote a review...



Wait a minute.. wait a minute.. YOU being ATTENTIVE to description? Now that's just dirty, wicked.

Music bled from the floor-to-ceiling speakers

And you use VERBS to create your imagery, evocative earthy verbs. I'm hallucinating, right?

Okay, I'm coming back to this when I don't have to practise so much, but God, without detracting from your stab in the groin dialogue, you show your mastery of observation and urban dystopia? Serious? I'm going to STAB you in the GROIN you SUBLIME RATBASTARD!




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Tue Jul 17, 2007 3:59 am
Emerson says...



I gave it an R rating, so, yeah.


Nice way to get back into the series, I'm liking it a lot. You had all my favorite things in it. *too lazy/tired to say too much*

and I do hope we find out what went on. I'm sad this is the last book.




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Tue Jul 17, 2007 3:27 am
Incandescence wrote a review...



Jon slipped past another moving body. Music bled from the floor-to-ceiling speakers and drenched everything in the club with a deafening pulse. He squinted in the dark light as he tried to make out who was who.

"Hey there," a young girl danced in front of him, licking her lips. She grabbed his soft shirt and pulled him closer. He could smell her perfume--its dangerously fruity smell was counteracted by a distinctly urban, metallic aroma--and his entire back almost stung with electricity at her sensual touch. Her face was sharp though not intangibly so, and as she pressed her hips against his, he felt an incurable erection form. "You're cute," she winked, running her hands down his back and working her way to his belt buckle.

Jon swallowed as he glanced up. He didn't see Kyle amidst the sea of flesh, but that was hardly veritable evidence that Kyle wasn't there. She grabbed his fingers and put them to her lips. He smiled and followed as she led him to one of the back-rooms. He knew he should have been looking for Kyle, but he also knew he was just as likely to find Kyle here as he was out there, knowing Kyle.

"Why are you shaking?" she asked, looking Jon up and down.

"I...um..." He glanced at his fingers, which were trembling. He ran his free hand through his hair and smiled nervously. "I haven't really done this before..."

She furrowed her brow and grinned. "You don't come to clubs?"

"Only when forced," he laughed, wincing at the slight pain in his side. "I mean, I, uhm, I was supposed to meet somebody here"--he looked over his shoulder at the crowd--"but I didn't see him in there."

"Well," she said, stepping towards him and kissing his jawline, "maybe he'll be here when we're done."

She continued kissing him as she ran her hand up his shirt. He flinched every time the cold ring on her index finger hit his stomach, but also found it oddly arousing.

"Come on," she whispered, "in here." Jon stumbled in after her as she pulled her shirt over her head. Jon noticed her red stiletto heels were the same hue as her bra. She forcefully pushed him onto the squeaky mattress and almost collapsed on top of him in a flurry of kisses and gropes. He arched into her caress and closed his eyes as she tugged his shirt over his head.

Another kiss tickled his slightly stubbled neck, falling away from his face and down his body. She rolled her tongue across his chest, fingers gently probing against his thighs, until she came to the spot.

She let out a little gasp and looked up at him. "What happened?"

He opened his eyes and looked down at her, shaking his head. "I, um, got..."

She waited for his answer before finally finishing his sentence. "Shot?"

He nodded quietly.

"So you do come to clubs a lot," she grinned playfully.

"Well, um..." Jon shifted underneath her so that his erection was no longer pressed against her body. "It wasn't from a--"

"It was his ex." Jon sat up almost immediately at the foreign voice. Kyle was leaning against the doorframe, glass of something in-hand, grinning at the two of them.

The woman turned and momentarily covered herself before seeing Kyle. "Oh," she sighed. "You."

Kyle smirked as he walked in, and for some reason Jon felt the need to cover himself. He pulled his knees up to him in hopes that it would at least partially obscure Kyle's vision.

"His ex," Kyle laughed, stepping in, "was a crazy-ass bitch."

"She was your ex," Jon snapped.

Kyle feigned hurt.

"Wait," the woman said, "you were looking for Kyle?"

Jon shrugged and nodded. "Yeah...why?"

"Oh God," she rolled her eyes. "Why didn't you just say so, then?"

"Huh?" Jon looked from her to Kyle, then back.

"Hush," Kyle laughed. "What are you doing to him, Monica?" He shifted his attention to the woman.

She forced a sardonic smile. "I was going to show him a good time. What are you going to do to him?"

"Me?" Kyle said, mock offended. "This is Jon. He's my best buddy."

She blinked at him. "No. Really."

"What?" Kyle shook his head. "No, this is actually Jon. This is the Jon."

Monica turned and peered into Jon's green eyes. She thought their emptiness made them easy to get lost in. "You're Jon?"

He nodded feebly. "Yeah..." He looked over to Kyle, hoping...pleading for an explanation.

Either Kyle did not notice, or Kyle was having too much fun with Jon's confusion. He looked different, somehow. Kyle's stance was off--maybe it was just because he looked relaxed. Something definite about him had changed, though. He walked--more like danced--towards Jon. Kyle's shoulders were in sync with his hips. His hair was more perfect than usual.

Jon now regretted coming without really dressing up. He picked his shirt up off the bed and pulled it over his knees.

"You can have him back in a little bit," Kyle winked to Monica. "I need to talk to him right now, though."

She nodded. "Allright. Fine. Whatever." She looked over at Jon. "I'll be here all night."

Jon nodded hopefully as she walked out of the room. Kyle sat down on the bed next to him and looked blankly in front of him before finally turning and making eye contact. "How are you?" he finally said, low enough it could be mistaken for a whisper.

"I'm good," Jon nodded, breaking the eye contact between them and looking down at his lap. He bit his lip before continuing. "I didn't see you out there..."

"Oh, no," Kyle shook his head. "I wasn't out there. It's okay."

Jon nodded, still not looking up. He felt Kyle shift away from him and take another drink from his glass. "Thanks..." he said quietly.

"Huh?" Kyle looked over at him.

"I just said thanks," Jon looked up finally. "For everything, I mean. I guess I was just lucky those people showed up."

Kyle nodded as something strange flashed across his face. "You were lucky," he agreed. Kyle suddenly placed his hand on Jon's knee and squeezed. "How's the bruising?"

"It's okay," Jon said, unsure if it was safe to show Kyle just yet. "It'll be a long time before it's all gone, anyway."

"How was your flight in?"

"Long," Jon laughed. "And more problems than post-9/11 security measures." He grinned up at Kyle. "They checked my luggage, my shoes, my wallet--I was worried they were going to strip-search me right there."

A smile began to work its way across Kyle's face at that thought. "You would have liked it."

"Well...maybe."

Kyle looked over at him. "I'm glad you're back."

"Back?" Jon looked around. "I was never here to come back."

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah," Jon smiled again. "I do."

There was a moment of quietude between them as the sounds of a mattress squeaking next door filled their ears. "I missed you," Kyle finally managed.

Jon laughed, unsure what else he should do. "I missed you too. You're good for me."

"'Good' for you?" Kyle laughed. "What am I, a multivitamin?"

"Well, I mean..." Jon trailed off. He considered the idea of him being a Kyleosexual. "Maybe not a multivitamin...aphrodisiac?"

"Pshaw," Kyle shook his head. "What about a Kyle?"

"Oh," Jon said nonchalantly. "That could work too. But not just a Kyle."

"You're right," Kyle nodded. "I am the Kyle."

Jon couldn't stop a laugh from bubbling out. "You know, our readers would probably be pissed right now."

Kyle looked over at him, confused. "'Our readers'?"

"You know," Jon motioned. "Our book."

"Oh," Kyle nodded. "You're still thinking about that?"

Jon shrugged. "There's not a whole lot to think about in a lonely hospital bed."

Kyle narrowed his eyes playfully. "I put you in the best damn hospital I could find! I'm sorry it was just a thousand miles from here."

"You could have driven it."

"Oh shut up." Kyle rolled his eyes and grinned.

"You could have at least kept sending me flowers. Why'd you stop, anyway?"

"Do you know how much flowers cost? A lot, that's how much. And your ass isn't worth that much." Kyle glanced over at Jon and winked. "Plus, I just wanted to know if you'd start."

Jon tilted his head to the side. "Start...what?"

Kyle shrugged. "I don't know. Start stop thinking about me."

"That's impossible," Jon laughed. "You're the Kyle."

"Too true," Kyle shook his head. "But I'm only the Kyle if you're the Jon."

"Monica called me the Jon?"

Kyle grinned. "That was me."




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Tue Jul 10, 2007 10:52 am
miyaviloves says...



Why is there a new post for this???? :S





can we just be proud Nate isnt selling his bathwater. yewis celebrities are the best celebrities
— fatherfig