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Kale

Your #1 Source for a Healthy Dose of Quackery

  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: 800 Miles

    As I call my lover, the morning of today. This struck me as a forced rhyme, but the rest of the poem doesn't rhyme, so I'm left wondering if the ...

    Apr 16, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: deleted

    Hello there. It's me again. XD As with your other poem I reviewed, the punctuation is lacking and makes this poem difficult to understand on first read through. You also ...

    Apr 16, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Differences

    I liked this poem. It was nice and simple, yet you nicely showed how people are different, and the rhyme did not feel forced. The rhythm in the line "I ...

    Apr 16, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Religious Protection

    I found that the inconsistent punctuation made this difficult to understand on first read through. These lines in particular: This here what I behold The blood and the body Is ...

    Apr 16, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: A Billet-doux

    As I opened my eyes and saw the attractive sunshine I saw "attractive", and I winced. Attractive is just not a word you use to describe sunshine. It just struck ...

    Apr 15, 2010
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: He Could Sing a Song

    This was very interesting. I enjoyed reading it and puzzling out what He is (I'm still not quite sure what He is, but that's part of the fun). My only ...

    Apr 15, 2010
  • Lyrics » General, General Re: Sage Francis Emulation(critique as poem, or lyric)

    You have a lot of unique imagery going on here, but I couldn't really appreciate it because I was distracted by the irregular rhythm and typos. For example: Futile was ...

    Apr 14, 2010
  • Lyrics » General, General Re: The Rebel Inside Me...{Rewrote}

    Aside from the chorus, nothing was consistent. Also, a lot of the lines struck me as too short, and there were a lot of rhymes that appeared and disappeared at ...

    Apr 14, 2010
  • Lyrics » General, General Re: Hell Hound Day

    I really liked this song. It just had this wonderfully dark feel to it. I just wish it had more than one verse. My only quibble with the writing is ...

    Apr 14, 2010
  • Lyrics » General, General Re: Uncut Love

    These lyrics were pretty amazing. You have a great sense of rhythm, and I could almost feel the song. The one thing that tripped me up is that it isn't ...

    Apr 14, 2010
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: its alive

    I'm really not sure what to make of this poem because it was so very short. I'm also confused with how the lines all relate to one another, especially the ...

    Apr 14, 2010
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: Cursed By Life

    Well, this flowed well enough, so it wasn't difficult to read, but there were a couple words that made me go "What?" and the ending of the poem struck me ...

    Apr 14, 2010
  • Lyrics » General, General Re: It is not how it is suppose to be

    Hello, Anshita. As DRdante already pointed out, this belongs in the Lyrics section rather than Lyric Poetry. I suggest you PM a moderator and ask them to move it for ...

    Apr 14, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Windmills or Breaking Slowly

    Hello there. It's always sad to only get one review, so here I am to review you, too. You started out with a very interesting premise, however you switched to ...

    Apr 14, 2010
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Wounded Angel

    Tears of blood Ran down his face And stained his pure white cheeks Spurned from heaven Tossed to Earth His body starts to burn First impression: cliché imagery of the ...

    Apr 13, 2010


we are all mariah carey
— Kay (NovemberCrow)