Kale

I can’t lose them You need to be more careful with loose/lose and other similarly spelled words, like breath/breathe. You've got a couple of mistakes of this type scattered throughout ...

I like how this poem is essentially an extended metaphor. It gives the concept, which would otherwise be cliche, a new lease on life. You set me a light , ...

Here as requested. I actually think this works better as a prose poem, otherwise, I suggest getting a bit more creative with the line breaks. Right now, they're just at ...

Hello there. The first thing I noticed was that you have the incorrect tense for "sleep" and "close"; they should be "sleeping" and "closed", respectively. Because of this, your first ...

This was a lovely little poem, and I liked the simple but expressive language. Unfortunately, when I first read this through, it didn't really register as a meaningful poem until ...

You had an interesting rhyme pattern going on here. I liked it. The thing is, some of the rhyming lines were so different in length that you lost the rhyming ...

I really do not like "no ordinary". It just reads awkwardly, and there are number of perfectly serviceable words that mean the exact same thing. In addition, it really confused ...

But with it, I'm still here today ready for whatever's thrown at me. The last line is really long, while the line before it is really short. I suggest evening ...

Hey there, Jared. I'm afraid I'll have to agree with x3CoFx3; this song was full of cliches, which made it boring. Using some cliches are fine, but this entire song ...

The first thing I noticed was the lack of punctuation, and the formatting tags. Right after, I noticed that you had a lot of misspelled/misused words, especially you're/your and "gunner" ...

Hello there. I haven't read the prologue, so if anything I point out was already covered in the prologue, feel free to disregard it. Rosey Unicorn does bring up a ...

Our beloved and beflowered Rosey Unicorn was quite thorough in her critique, which doesn't leave me much to add since she has already covered practically everything I was planning to ...

This is a really good and interesting idea, but I think it could have been executed better. In the beginning, I felt it rambled and could be much more condensed. ...

that I thought that, as once poetically said Claire, " Your jeans were as blue as the sky in October. " The punctuation in repeated lines can (and in this ...

I haven't read the earlier parts, but it's always sad to see works with just one review, so review, I shall! And if I point something out that makes sense ...