Kale

if you ask me. Having this line all by itself as a stanza really separates it from the entire poem, and in a bad way. It puts what feels like ...

Well, this review is probably more than a little late to help with the final project bit, but here I am to review, nonetheless. Hopefully you'll be able to apply ...

like 100ft rubies or giant rings, It would be best to write out 100ft as words. After all, your readers can't read your mind, and they won't know if you ...

I... am not sure what to make of this poem to be quite honest. It's certainly unique, though I'm not sure that's a good thing in this case. There are ...

When one refuses to abide Abide what? Don't leave your readers hanging like this. It's like carving a gorge right in the middle of their path and neglecting to build ...

Good people breath, and bad people breath. I think you meant "breathe". I must admit though, the thought of good people breath is pretty funny because then you've got good ...

A fuzzy grey rabbit lopes down by the banking And here I got the image of a fuzzy grey rabbit going to the rabbit bank to make a withdrawal or ...

That I can breathe. The "that" here is rather unnecessary. It might not seem like much, but filler words like "that" can really weaken your poem, and "that" really weakens ...

Broken only by the gentle snores. "The gentle snores" feels strangely definite. The gentle snores of what? Why is it significant that the snores are the gentle snores? Personally, I'm ...

One day I saw two doves, (6) the male was expressing his love. (8) But the female just flew away (8) the male was left to sorrow another day. (11) ...

The one thing you have going for you in this piece is flow. There really weren't any issues with it at all, which is always a pleasure to read. That ...

The line breaks, they are so abrupt it is jarring to read them. Especially in the first stanza, though the second stanza suffers this, to a lesser extent. The line ...

Your first stanza was quite nice. It flowed and rhymed rather well. Your second stanza, on the other hand... Everything fell apart there -- the flow, the rhythm, the rhyme. ...

The moon. they say, will never care Why is there a period here? The moon, always there in the sky The wording here is quite awkward to say. Switching the ...

with our hands twined Should be "entwined". Not only does it sound a little better, but it also makes more sense. To twine something is to wrap it in twine, ...