Published January 15, 2012
I've gradually grown up,
watching those around me change;
questioning whether they're good people
or bad people,
and why I see them that way.
I've wrapped my small, soft hands
around their fingers,
in an effort to trust them.
I've felt the skin, sometimes rough and worn,
but other times delicate,
like a petal.
Few people seem to stay,
to leave something on you,
whether a stain or an impact.
They leave like moths;
leave me feeling empty.
You left, unintentionally,
leaving confusion.
Questions.
Uncertainty.
Something very similar
to a vacuum.
And despite your absence,
I still continue to grow gradually,
even when I'm confused,
and unwilling,
and uncertain,
and hurting.
Even when I just want a minute to
stop.
Good people breath,
and bad people breath.
But regardless of our morals,
we still share the same air.
We take each other in.
Let each other go.
And we watch people change
while doing so.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,669 Literary Works • 672,647 Reviews
I think you meant "breathe". I must admit though, the thought of good people breath is pretty funny because then you've got good people with good people breath, bad people with bad people breath, and people who don't brush their teeth with just plain old bad breath.
That said, this poem was rather bland. Except for the last stanza where you have the image of forming relationships analogous to the act of breathing, this poem really had no images, which made it more of a literal list than anything. While anna may have enjoyed reading a list of thoughts, I didn't, though I didn't dislike it, particularly. It's just rather plain and not particularly interesting to read, and it's not particularly memorable, except for that last stanza.
Honestly, I think you could cut away the rest of the poem and have a solid poem with just the last stanza, with a little bit of tweaking. It's really the most memorable part, and it's fully capable of standing all on its own.
I really liked this. It was just a list of thoughts about the world, very honest, and nicely put together to make a poem that 'smooth' to read.
I love it even more after reading it a second time. Very thought provoking...