Kale

The first thing I noticed as I was reading through is that you have a number of spelling mistakes. It's always a good idea to go back through and reread ...

in a mutual state of bliss. This line struck me as a tad too wordy. who surrenders her will wants to die a little Coupled with the line "but also ...

It looks like the formatting of your poem got messed up. ^^; If you can, try to fix it. my heart would jump with emotion. that watch the night , ...

This was very short, but not in a bad way. :D I do think the poem could do without the O_O at the end, though. Some of the lines felt ...

Lightly like butterflies Watch your spelling. The ending felt very abrupt and inconclusive. There was no sense of it being the end. I'm also wondering where the fear the narrator ...

Clink, clink. This line struck me as a bit out of place. Light doesn't make sounds when it hits objects, and I have a hard time visualizing noisy light. Long ...

Alighting on branches, hills and valleys, Leaving no trace but the sighing of boughs , Be careful with spelling and word usage. "Bow" (pronounced like "bough") is actually a verb ...

This poem really struck me as standard teen angst fare. As sugarxsnow already mentioned, the forced rhyme, inconsistent rhythm, and lack of unique and clear imagery really didn't help things. ...

Enter the Forest of Eternal Depression. Its looks may fool you, so beware. Once you enter this beautiful forest, it will be close to impossible to escape. The moment you ...

Hi there. Before I mention anything else, it would be a good idea if you deleted your name from this. People can track you down with it. This isn't to ...

This was really cute. It did move a bit fast, but I think it suited this story. One thing I noticed was that while you italicized some of the thoughts, ...

Athiests can never seem to win a debate about religion, and some may put it into poetic terms: n either side can be proved nor disproved. The view that the ...

I don't have time at the moment to critique this fully, but I would like to point out that a lot of your arguments are flawed since they are based ...

Hi there. For the sake of brevity, I'll just be pointing out the issues I see. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me. I believe in the ...

Welcome to YWS. :D Though I may come across as mean in this review, I'm not trying to be; I'm actually trying to help you. In addition to what JSPike ...