Okay so this is a Infomerical that I had to do for school, I thought I'd share it with you guys...Enjoy!
~The Reach n’ Grab~
Announcer: “Too short to reach those annoying things on the highest shelf? Reach n’ Grab! Worried about your kids climbing up on countertops and possibly falling? Reach n’ grab! Now selling for a limited time, The Reach n’ Grab! Sponsored by, you guessed it! The hobbits from Lord of the Rings! Why don’t you tell us a little about it Frodo?”
(Elisha Wood) Frodo: “Well Sure! The Reach n’ Grab really has changed my life! Before, humans used to make fun of us for our height. Whenever we went to a tavern, it was always dangerous for us to try and get anything from the top shelf!”
(Sean Astin) Sam: “And not just taverns Frodo! Supermarkets too! Is it just me, or do all supermarkets have all the good stuff high up?”
(Billy Boyd) Pippin: “What’s a supermarket?”
(Dominic Monaghan) Merry: “Uh…Moving on!”
Frodo: “Anyways…Just look at all the features of this thing! Made of reinforced titanium steel! The mechanical arm extends up to 5 feet! It can hold up to 50 pounds!”
Pippin: “Yea, that sounds nifty! But it must cost a fortune!”
Merry: “No! You’re wrong! It only costs a staggering 39.99$! Can you believe it?”
Pippin: “ Wow!! That’s even better than breakfast!
Sam: “That’s right! 39.99$!! But wait! If you order one within the next 10 minuets, we’ll take an extra 10$ off this amazing deal! Just listen to this happy customer!”
Testimonial 1: “My son is always climbing up on the countertop to reach food that he wants! I was so worried that he was going to fall and hurt himself! But not any more! Now with the reach n’ grab, I can sit back ad relax, knowing that my son won’t fall!”
Frodo: That’s right! So call us at 1-800-224-REACH!!
CALL!!! RIGHT NOW!!!
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IP address:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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141,368 Literary Works • 674,383 Reviews
Capitalization is inconsistent.
Too many exclamation points. @_@ When you use as many exclamation points close together, they lose their impact and become annoying.
When you address someone, you set off their name with commas. Examples: "Sue, how are you?" and "Well, Joe, I'm just fine."
Dollar sign comes before the price. Alternatively, you could have just written "thirty-nine dollars and ninety-nine cents".
Overall, I felt that you were trying too hard to be funny. There were also a number of spelling mistakes that I'm sure you would catch yourself upon a closer read through.
Ha Sponsored by.....you guessed it! The hobbits from Lord of The Rings!
Haha my favorite part. Nice Job