Juniper

Goodness, Jack. You should write more poetry. The poem started off on good legs, and kept on steadily through most of it. There were a few lines where this grew ...

Bahador! The problem with this poem -- aside from the structural parts that people have licked -- is that you are not expressing your view of the theme well enough. ...

Hi, Fixed! Not bad here! I'm with Adnamarine -- it was a little hard to focus, and I ready our note about it being like a fire, so I can ...

Hullo, Vanda, Nice work here. I think you have a steady concept to work with, and I do like your wording style. I have a few nitpicks, though! To every ...

Hey, Aloha, In the assumption that this is a song, I think it's decent. (YWS has a separate Lyrics forum for song lyrics). Some of the lines could be versed ...

Hi, Moosie,' I don't know what to make of this, haha. The first three lines were soft, and I couldn't judge by them. Why they did not necessarily hook me, ...

Hi, Sana Yesterday when i went to the fish market, The pronoun I should always be capitalized, because it's a proper noun. A comma would be in place after yesterday. ...

Hey, Ray! Such a pretty poem! In the third stanza, the first line stumbles. I'm not sure that no more-no reads as smoothly as it should (and as a side ...

Hallo, Kaywiia! Your username and avatar are the equivalent of epic win. ;) Red is blood on a battlefield, Where a killed soldier lay But that’s too depressing, Let’s not ...

Stori! Been a while since I read something of yours! :) I like this poem alot! :) I usually don't like poems that rhyme, or poems that raise questions, but ...

Hello, Fatimah! I don't generally like the raising of questions in poetry, especially not hypothetical ones. I'd recommend eliminating them, because raising questions that we can't answer doesn't do m

Hi, Julia! Welcome to YWS! :) This poem is a good start. I enjoyed how you began in past tense action. I would've liked to see that sustained until the ...

Hel-loooo Tim! June here! This poem has lots of potential, but I'm afraid you haven't maximized your ability yet. The rhyme wasn't so bad, although I'm scarcely a fan of ...

Hey there, Smilie face! ;) Kyllorac covered some of the more structural points of things, so, on content, Ihave to say that I felt that this could be improved. I ...

Hullo, Jacque! My apologies on not reviewing this when I said I would. I get sidetracked too easily. To begin, I love your word choice throughout this; simple, easy to ...