Published January 21, 2010
Hello Tuesday.
Tiny flowers blossom,
In the middle of the awesome
Hour that you asked me that question.
I was watching leaves grow
In the back of my head
And instead, a caterpillar came rolling along.
Its little suction cup feet bring me joy.
But nothing like that of the boy.
The boy on my mind,
All the time, touching all the bubbles
That jiggle and poof.
Bubbles in my tummy,
Waiting for his touch.
Hello Tuesday,
I truly do adore you.
This boy found me sitting all alone
And picked me up and put me
On a cloud in a soft sky.
I saw his eyes,
And I stayed.
We stayed on the cloud
And I touched his brain
And he made me fly.
Hello Tuesday,
You gave this boy to me.
He asked me to accept him
And I took him all in.
And now he is mine,
And we are one.
My love for Tuesday is never done.
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Thanks June, you always like to lend your thoughts
But this poem was just written specifically for my boy hahaha. Thank you. It wasn't meant for people to look deeply into, past what it is. Just for him to see on here and anyone can too I guess.
Hey, Aloha,
In the assumption that this is a song, I think it's decent. (YWS has a separate Lyrics forum for song lyrics). Some of the lines could be versed better, in my opinion, for instance [the jiggle and poof/bubbles in my tummy]; it sounds a little awkward in-verse with the rest of the lines. I'm not very good at critiquing songs, or anything, so I'll just say good work, and keep it up.
June
(Also, I keep imagining this in tune with the melody of Jason Mraz's WordPlay)