Jamie_rocks

Hey everyone, please let me know what you think and if there's any grammar errors :) oh and if you think of better male names for the MC's please let ...

“Hey Tara, I bet can eat more subs than you.” Zephyr grinned hugely. I smiled and shook my head slowly; everything was a competition for Zephyr. “Can’t you wait till ...

I like it. The characters are very real. You have the process of grief down completely. His t-cell count was almost non-existent an' the antibiotics weren't doing any good This ...

Ha ha! Very funny. Keep up the humor it will help. Remmy was very tall, over six feet, and he was still quite muscled even though he had a lean ...

Hi, I'm back. I like your characters, they seem real. Very good emotions, especially Genny's pride and resolution not to ask for ask. I agree about showing not telling, as ...

OK, it looks like the nitpicking is all covered, so I won't repeat it. Question: Is the MC a guy or girl? Scasha says girl, but it never actually says, ...

OK, I agree. I like the MC's attitude, it makes him(or her) easier to relate to, given that I'm a teen. I also think it's kind of amusing that in ...

OK, I think this is a great start. However, the tense is mixed, it's half past and half present tense. That's not really possible and needs to be changed. I ...

Me again. OK, first off, and I hate myself for this, the nit-picking. "pin point" from the first paragraph, should be one word. That's all I found. One thing I ...

Me again. Good job keeping up the humor, it really does a lot for the story. Good job, too, on using the big words, it makes him sound more like ...

There's some grammar and spelling mistakes, but I hate being nit-picky, you might want to try Word's ABC check. OK, by Emu, are we talking about the bird, because that's ...

I agree with what they said, it's really short, personally, i would make it longer. It's really detailed, which is good, but be careful. there is such thing as too ...

OK, I liked it, you have a lot of detail, but in the beginning, the tree scene, that was kind of confusing. I think you need to explain that better. ...

Well, I guess all the nit-pick grammar is out of the way, so I won't repeat that. I liked it, it's very well detailed. As for what Midnightwolf said, I ...

I like where it's going. There was a few errors but I think the others caught them already. A couple things though, I don't know many teens that use that ...