Young Writers Society

Layleun wrote:“Hey Tara, I bet can eat more subs than you.”
Zephyr grinned hugely. I smiled and shook my head slowly; everything was a competition for Zephyr. “Can’t you wait till the sandwiches get here before you challenge me?”
Zephyr buzzed his lips. This seems oddly phrased. I can't tell what it is he's doing. “Touché, my poddley doodley friend.” I growled at the newest nickname but he ignored it. “Hey Abraham! Are the subs almost done?”
An older, stout man appeared in the threshold, wiping his hands on a dirty apron. His skin was tanned and resembled worn leather. Abraham’s peppered hair combed back until it reached his shoulders. His face was deeply sculpted so that he looked like he’d been cut from stone. He replied in a gravelly voice.
“I’m working on it. I just finished cookin’ the meat. If you want to eat them all at the same time and at the same temperature then you’ll have to wait and quit complaining.”
By then he had rounded the huge table in the kitchen and smacked Zephyr in the back of the head with his dishtowel. Zephyr grunted and swatted at the air between him and Abraham.
Tobias strode into the room, this time at normal speed. I don’t know what that kid was thinking when he chose super speed. I wouldn’t have survived in the real world, always having to walk slowly. He smiled radiantly. “Zephyr, you’re going to get whooped by a girl, ya know. Tara can eat twice as much as your stomach can hold.”
I laughed. I loved my little henchman. “Now you’re just stating facts.”
Zephyr wrinkled his nose. “I’ll beat her this time.” He addressed Tobias. Toby seemed to dance to the chair next to me. He pulled it out and jumped, landing on the chair cross-legged.
The smell was finally getting to me. I could almost see the delectable deliciousness floating out from Abraham’s kitchen. Abraham must have left the dining room. My eyelids fell and I inhaled the mouth-watering scent wafting into the large white room. Two bow windows let the sunlight trickle into the dining room, illuminating the crystal chandeliers above us. The dining room was the only room in the house that had a half decent view. It showed the town sprawled out along the hilly land.
“Woohoo?”
I felt a breeze [s]touch[/s] my face, and I internally growled. “Yes, Zephyr?”
My eyes opened to find Zephyr’s hand hovering in front of my nose. He smiled sheepishly and withdrew his hand. “You looked like you were sleeping.”
Toby had disappeared from his chair. I sniffed, hoping he went to get the subs; I was so hungry I could eat a horse. Surveying the room for a moment confirmed [s]me[/s]my thoughts. He stood in the kitchen threshold, no comma here wearing a sly grin on his face. A platter was balanced on a raised hand; subs of all different kinds were cooling off. I wanted to get up right then and there and shove all those into my mouth at once. It seemed like it would have the same effect as eating a horse.
“Hmm.” Comma, not period, and lowercase "h"He contemplated with himself, period, not comma“Should I make them wait?”
Food should never ever be kept from Zephyr. Ever.
“Tobias Lucian Shaw, if you do not give me that food in ten seconds I’m gonna string you up in that tree outside and leave you there. Then, I’ll make Tara call all her doggie friends up and have them eat your guts.”
Toby’s smile broadened and he started twirling the plate on his fingertip. The plat spun around, precariously balancing. switch "balancing" and "precariously" Finally he stopped. Tobias shifted on his feet and was gone again.
“Tobias!” Zephyr roared, Again, period, not comma “Get your scrawny ass back here! I’m starving!”
Zephyr jumped up and ran out of the room after a giggling Tobias. I leaned over in my chair so I could see into the foyer. Tobias seemed to flash in and out of existence as he ran and stopped frequently, Zephyr’s attacks always coming a few inches short. Naturally Zephyr threw himself at Toby every time he stopped running, the stupid dolt. Zephyr’s face suddenly lit up, he looked like he’d just found the cure for cancer or something. He closed his eyes and stood still. Maybe his mind blew up. Moments ticked by and Tobias appeared on the stairs.
“These subs look awful delicious, Zeph.” He disappeared again. Zephyr’s hand flicked out and somehow found the plate of subs. Tobias skidded to a halt in front of me. I couldn’t see his little face but he straightened up so I assumed he was smiling. I chuckled despite myself; Zephyr must’ve mind read Toby’s next move.
The old wooden floors creaked as Zephyr made his way back to the table. He sat and slid the plate of subs between him and myself. Tobias already made it to his chair and grabbed a sub. He buried his little face into the sandwich like he hadn’t eaten in years, although I doubt he’d survive minutes without food, let alone years. My hands found the sub I’d been gazing at and picked it up.
“Aren’t we going to race?” Zephyr looked anxiously at my mouth, I think he should look at you, not your mouth the sub centimeters away from my teeth. I sighed. I was about to answer when a booming chime sounded throughout the house. The grandfather clock in the foyer pealed out five notes and fell silent.
Zeph frowned, “Later than I thought. I guess we’ll have to eat and run.”
A shuffling announced Abraham’s arrival. He’d taken off his apron and wiped all the sweat from his brow. Without his smock, Abraham wore a short-sleeved plaid shirt and cargo shorts that showed his Native American skin.
“It sounds like the meeting’s about to start. Tobias, why don’t you go start up the car?”
I turned to look for Tobias but [s]he already ran off.[/s] he'd already ran off A few minutes later [s]a[/s] the rumble of a pick up truck could be heard. Tobias flashed into existence again, this time standing next to me.
“I ran to the meeting hall. Charlotte was there already. She told me to tell you guys to get moving or she’ll have Tara’s hide tacked to the wall.” He smiled his famous Toby Smile of Radiance at me; “I guess she’s still mad at you for being late last time. Plus today’s Newbie Orientation Day!”
That dropkickedShould be drop-kicked my good mood off a cliff. “Why? Are they in my division?”
Tobias continued to grin, “Yup. Don’t shoot the messenger.”
Of course Charlotte would’ve signed the newbies to me. I always had to train the newbies. Groaning, I stood and started for the door. Zephyr followed with a grin on his face and slung his arm around my shoulder.
“If I were in your division, I’d help you. Honest.”
Tobias skipped along beside Zephyr, giggling. “That’s alright, Zeph. You’ll have your hands full anyways.”
Zephyr stiffened. “Why?”
The giggle came again. “Because Charlotte assigned you to some newbies too.”
Wind flew by my face as Tobias ran away again. We’d made it to the end of the cobbled driveway. Abraham’s Dodge Dakota was sitting at the end in all its blue glory. Well, blue and red and brown glory, considering the amount of rust and dirt caking the sides.
Do you think Abraham would mind if I kicked Tobias’s ass?
I laughed as Zephyr jumped into the car. I took the backseat with him; Tobias and Abraham took the front. Zephyr kept a straight face as he talked to me.
Seriously. I hate it when that kid steals my food and then tells me I have to train the newbies.
That caused an internal chuckle. I have to do it too. Only difference between you and me is that I’m not the one grumbling about it.
The truck turned onto the main road after waiting for a fancy sports car to zoom by. We passed the town firehouse quickly and into actual civilization. Zephyr was quiet as the pine trees thinned out and eventually disappeared. Tobias laughed a few times, the sound loud over the motor; Zephyr must’ve been talking to him. A large brick build came up over the horizon. It was soon looming over our parked truck. I stepped out and onto the pavement. It was cooling off because the sun was going down. Stupid winter always took away the sun too early. On the bright side, at least there wasn’t any snow.
The truck doors slammed behind me. Tobias seemed to appear out of nowhere and open the door. Abraham, Zephyr, and I quickly followed, wanting to get out of the cold. Heat rushed past me as I entered the large, wooden threshold. My tingling face let out a sigh of satisfaction. Awkwardly phrased. Maybe try "Heat rushed on to my tingling face and I let out a sigh."
“Tara!”
I chuckled as another Why is this another pink head? What other pink head was there? pink head weaved in and out of numerous other Dreamscapers. The crowd held other people who had died their hair pink, all in my division, but only Charlotte’s was short and spiky. The gel she used must have made it luminous because it glowed in the dark, almost gave us away once. Odd phrasing, how did her hair almost give them away? Perhaps "...giving her away almost at once"
My short spiky friend pushed past a few other people and skidded to a stop, her finger pointing accusations at me. “You…” Realization swept over her and she quickly reached into her pocket to pull out her cell phone. She flipped it open and stared at it in confusion, “Are…early?”
I snapped a salute and put on a cheesy grin, “Yes ma’am! Reporting for duty Capitan!”
“Evening Charlie.” Zephyr smiled beside me.
Charlotte scowled and made an x with her fingers, shunning the nickname. “Stop calling me that. Too masculine.”
He smirked. “You could make any name un-manly, love.”
Charlotte waved away the flattery. Zephyr started to move forward but hesitated. He seemed to think for a moment and closed the distance between himself and Charlotte in half a stride. He pulled her to his side and lifted her up for an enthusiastic kiss.
I heard a groan beside me. I turned to see Tobias sticking his tongue out. “Yuck! We’re in a public place, full of Dreamscapers no less!” He shuddered violently. Zephyr let go of Charlotte but kept his arm around her shoulder.
“Shut it kid. You wait till you get yourself a girl.” Charlotte stomped on his foot. Zephyr cringed and quickly amended, “Or a girl gets you.”
Charlotte beamed contently. Zephyr smiled back down at her. “Or a wolverine gets you. I’m not sure what Charlotte is.”
“Both.” She said, nodding to herself.
Tobias rolled his eyes as Zephyr pulled Charlotte closer. “Will you two get a room?” His eyes looked past the couple, “Better yet, come with us. We can keep and eye on you two and listen to the meeting.”
For a twelve-year-old kid, Tobias had a sharp tongue. He was right however; everyone was starting to sit in the circle of chairs, our leader, Jack, stood in the middle.
All right everyone. Make your way to a chair. We have some newcomers today.
I waved at our [s]telepathic[/s] We assume he's telepathic if he talks in italics leader to let him know we were coming. I latched onto Charlotte’s arm and towed her along with me.
“Now who’s the late one?”
Charlotte scowled, “Just shut up and find us a decent seat.”
I found some seats next to Abraham. We sat while Zephyr and Tobias found their way over. Tobias took a seat next to Abraham and I. He laughed giddily as he spotted the newbies.
“Everyone! Settle down!” Jack yelled. The meeting had started.