Incandescence

_frenchilla_ Not much to get excited about. The reader recognizes the situation but is given nothing in the way of a POV or insight that attempts to push beyond simple ...

GingerLizzy, Ruminant jokes aside, this is not what I'd call poetry. It hammers home--what, exactly? That a girl still thinks of "him"? What's new or exciting about that? Take care, ...

Reyu, Beside the trite subject matter, it seems like you have put forth more effort in defending this trash than you did actually writing it. See the problem? The ice ...

Amelia, See if the ameliorated punctuation is, in fact, an amelioration. Thanks for taking the time to read, Brad

melodicatastrophe, If this were altered, it could be a song. As a song, it might stand just fine. However, as a poem, it suffers reckless navel-gazing and leaves me wondering, ...

something euclidean - I think S1, S2, and S4 make a fine poem. The rest, imho, seems to be from a different poem altogether and has little, if any, relevance ...

Elizabeth, This is fine as rogation, perhaps, though it fails at being anything more. You've done better. Best, Brad

-Save-Ferris-, Okay. And...? Best, Brad

kristina, If your intent was to bore ("dull, and numb") your readers, then congratulations. Escape the troglodyte temptation of repetition; give up on the machete half-sentences; throw this away. Best

Blooregard Q. Kazoo-- 'Sacral' is chosen for its connotations to the sacred, surely, but also to the sacrum, which is, loosely speaking, that area of the vertebrae consistent with the ...

No, to the contrary, the loss of Kyle was to feel very non-chalant--indeed...that was part of the whole work-up of the last eight chapters, no? As for believability, I can't ...

Twinflower-- This is an undistinguished list that tries unsuccessfully to be profound at the close. A weak concept balanced by weak execution. Throw this away. Try something else. All the ...

something euclidean-- I got to the end of S2 and almost passed out from modifier overload. To my ear, S1 alone is a stronger poem than the three stophes you ...

Kylan, I left this piece asking myself, "And...?" You have rehashed in boring language the narrative of cybernetic misanthropy, but to what purpose? Next time, ask yourself, "What new am ...

Claudette, I've seen cadavers with more life than this. Better luck next time, Brad