Griffinkeeper

When I saw that depth charges were being used, I thought it was a submarine. A depth charge is a barrel of explosives that can be adjusted to explode at ...

It seemed like it had a slow start. You may have taken too long to introduce Aireleas, in my opinion. I'm also a little confused about the use of the ...

It's a little short for even a short story. Perhaps you could enter some sort of experience to tell how the person learned of the faeries, or something like that. ...

Oh come on now. Plz read and reply. First off, don't use chatspeak. This is a forum, not an instant messager. It being a forum, it may be several hours ...

I was also extremely confused. First of all, I have no idea how to treat this. It could either be a seperate story or a prologue. This is a minor ...

All righty, time for the extraordinary critique. THE TALE OF THE DRAGON JEWELS THE LEGEND OF THE DRAGON JEWELS First off, all caps are bad. Use different sizes, bold it, ...

This one is a little difficult to review, so I'll do my best. I'll just comment on what I see. Here is a story I'm working on. Any comments would ...

First, Blacksmiths don't sell horses. They are metal workers. The only association with horses is that the put horse shoes on them. Nothing more. You need to find out what ...

*Griffinkeeper enters and the room goes quiet* I like the way you've given Kalaban some attitude. That was a primary concern coming into the second chapter and I'm glad it ...

The cloaked halfling was shouting on the streets of Elenor: -The Archbishop, the one that brought us together! The DEVIL! A spawn of Evil. A shadow!-He was running down the ...

First, don't introduce any of the characters involved. That is the job of Chapter One. You should focus exclusively on the war, how it started, and where the character is ...

Your story is very confused. It sounds like you started wanting to write from the perspective of the old hunter, yet you switched the protagonist halfway through. You can't be ...

Flap, flap, flap; the harsh sound of bare feet slapping against frigid stone, cracked the silence of the night. Why don't you just delete the flap part and make the ...

Seeing the vocabulary before the story began was very unnerving. Also, myriad is an actual word, so it might not be a good idea to use, especially because people tend ...

I think you should give a more convincing reason why she took a complete stranger into her home. Not that it shouldn't happen, I'd just like to see her thought ...