Published June 17, 2005
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141,470 Literary Works • 674,492 Reviews
That's because it's not a story. It's an interior monologue. What do you want from ten minutes with the topic of going out at night?
It's a little short for even a short story. Perhaps you could enter some sort of experience to tell how the person learned of the faeries, or something like that. This would make the story much better than it is.
I detected no overt lack of quality, just quanity.
Good Job.
Great work. Yep, a few typos but that doesn't matter. I really enjoyed the original idea and your fresh way of writing. Keep it up.
Now theres a good bit of writing. It's well written, just a few mistakes.
[quote]baseball capsand untying shoelaces[/quote]
Space inbetween "caps and"
[quote]get people lost, Lure [/quote]
No capital at the start of lure
[quote]one of their circled and [/quote]
Circles - typo
[quote]I'll be trappen forever[/quote]
Trapped - typo
[quote]The LIttle People[/quote]
the I does not need capitals.
[quote] I know their secrest[/quote]
spelt Secret
Thats all the errors i can find with it - its nicely written and i enjoyed reading it. What i want to know is anything else coming out of it or is it just a one off passage?