GingerLizzy

Kim this is fantastique ;) I like the point that you're getting across to the reader. I'm guessing something along the lines of two friends to begin with, but they ...

Well I don't like the choice of word in the first line; I think that you could fine a word that is a lot more poetic than "Blows". Hmm, maybe ...

Uhm, I didn't like the structure of this, at all, I'm afraid. It's not really structured like a poem and although in it's entirety [I cannot spell] it was quite ...

Wow, pretty power stuff here. I don't know why but I imagined it to play along to the tune of Sorcery by uhm.. Audio Damage. It kinda had that feel ...

Why'd you make it longer? There's nothing wrong with a short poem matey. :) Other than that though, I liked this, it was pretty cool and you have a lot ...

I second the whole capitalizing the I's in your poem. This is because it merely gives your writing a more professional look about it. Also, there were a few places ...

I agree with the whole title change; if you changed it it would give it a more ghostly feel because then the reader's imagination could run wild and they could ...

I liked this. I'm just getting into the Haiku world of poetry myself, but I'm not so good. Look up my work; Snowdrop, and you'll see what I mean. I ...

Oof, I'm not so sure about this. I don't think it's really, uhm.. anything? Actually I don't even know. When I reada poem, I tend to class it as something ...

Okay, good poem with a lot of emotion. I liked that! But - sorry, there is a but - the repetition of "You don't know me" bugged me slightly, because ...

May I say; hats off to you new member. This enthralled me entirely and I thought that it was just perfect for one of your first posts. The language which ...

Hmm... I don't like the stucture, that's one thing that hit me as annoying. Maybe it is personal preference, but in a whole, I don't think it is. Your work ...

Ha, this was good. Cute and rather lyrical. Nothing to complain about this time it seems; how happy would that make eveyrone if the critique said that all the time. ...

Hmm.. This wasn't too bad but I have to admit it wasn't the best. I'm not really sure how you could improve it though; the punctuation seems okay and so ...

This is actually pretty good :) I was impressed because even though you've used the traditional rhyming scheme - I use this a lot and now I'm growing fonder of ...