Petals Fall
Petals fall.
Moving to a consuming music only they can hear.
Dancing in unison with their shadows on the earth below.
They will meet soon.
No longer to tease one another with suggestive pirouettes or evocative swirls.
They will embrace, predestined partners never alone again.
So is their fortunate life.
Envied by all.
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
I loved this poem because, it was short up to the point and you didn't bore me at all, lol. This was very creative, anyways welcome to YWS! Keep writng and good luck.
As always
-Max
I agree with ~Lashes~...It's short and pretty good.
it was short, but it was still pretty good
i love it!
short and sweet,and to the pencil's point
This is a very short but fulfilling poem. It can easily be translated into several meanings, whether social or emotional. Usually i am not a very big fan of poetry, cant write it for crap, but i liked this. personally me it symbolises the social progression of children into adults. from making fun of each other out of thier own doubts and feelings to having thier own relationships with other people and respecting each other.
hey! I just joined too, but welcome anyways! your poem is really good. descriptive, and elegant. I can totally picture it in my mind. great job, keep writing!
Squee!
It's pleasant and easy to understand, yet complex at the same time. Very poignant.
I really like this.
I really can't think of anything that you could improve for this poem! Very well done!
Cheers,
Ayra
I really like it =) It's pleasant and lovely, gives of that sort of feeling
I especially like the fifth line. Well done !
I would just like to say thank you for your comments, they really did make my day so much better. And I think you are right GingerLizzy, it does have a few structural problems to it. I suppose it helps if only to lead me towards a better technique. Thank you again.
May I say; hats off to you new member. This enthralled me entirely and I thought that it was just perfect for one of your first posts. The language which you used made the petals seem elegant, and also made a ballerina image enter my mind.
My only little niggle is personal preference, so you can ignore it anyway if you'd like. Some of the lines in this poem are just too long and I think maybe they could be structured to be two lines instead of the one.
Other than that; we have a writer in our midst.
Hi! Welcome to YWS, first of all! New members are always so much fun! I'm Bella! Also, another random thing that doesn't go along with your poem: I love your signature! Anywho...
Your poem has a nice idea to it. It's simple, but you make it seem so deep. I like how descriptive you are. "predestined partners never alone again" is probably my favorite line.
All in all, a very nice poem. I can't think of a bad thing, really.
MERRY WRITING!
~Bella~