[pre]Trying to comprehend
the thoughts that
swarm in my mind
and constantly wishing
for more of the things
i truely feel inside.
cant you see how much
i love and lust
over you and how
i dread not knowing
how i really feel.
Can you understand the
pain and lusting i feel inside?
[/pre]
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This is kind of a nit picky thing to say but, you need to capitalize your "i"s.
I still like how poems randomly come to me... *folds arms and grins stubbornly*
yeah but i always start them in a jumble b4 i get them structured. its a writing technique i use. more creative and then i format it and it turns out aight. but i do get what ur saying thanks for ur comment.
Uhm, I didn't like the structure of this, at all, I'm afraid. It's not really structured like a poem and although in it's entirety [I cannot spell] it was quite poetic, you didn't structure it in a way that makes it seem; like a poem.
You understand?