Gahks

Great poem. Short but sweet. Although it didn't seem particularly fresh, I liked your use of imagery, but watch your spelling and other pointers as previously raised. Your writing shows ...

Hey there. Personally, I don't like starting with an "I." You might, but I can think of many other ways to begin a story. You could use a participial phrase: ...

Hey there, Absolutely adore the concept. A few issues, apart from the errors already discussed: 1. The stanza "Till a dog found them and all of their sin" does not ...

This definitely shows promise. Most of this consists of bland statements that only skim the emotional surface of the issue at heart. Your was/were expressions, such as: "Then there was ...

Hey there, This shows promise. Couple of things: 1) Don't start with a passive. In fact, limit the use of the passive voice as much as possible. Instead of: "The ...

Don't be so self-deprecating, adnamarine! It's a fine story with a wonderful concept. The main problem with this is that there's too much telling. You use a lot of 'was/were' ...

Hey there, I do agree with omgafilangi's points. However, this is a pretty good poem. The odd rhyme scheme reminds me of Carol Ann Duffy's "Salome" in how it drips ...

Hey there, Very interesting stuff. I'm assuming that the free direct speech at the start (i.e. without speech marks) is deliberate and not some careless error. If it is, just ...

Yes, I agree: this seems more like a poem or monologue than a piece of fiction. Having said that, it was an enjoyable read. A lot of your statements were ...

This is great for a first poem. I haven't seen an acrostic for such a long time, so well done for being so refreshing. Your use of smell in the ...

This is beautifully written. I absolutely love the idea of caves as a metaphor for dark hidden secrets and your use of senses is powerful. I do agree with other ...

At the moment, this does not grip me. It's not best to start out with dialogue. Use more description to set the scene and give the action some context, before ...

Presumably this is set in Scotland judging by the dialect. This looks like the opening of a story and it's a great one for a first-timer. Although I love the ...

Grammar and punctuation, as Snoink rightly points out, needs work. Is it deliberate or not? Your beginning was by far the best part. Then suddenly this Duey person appeared and ...

Yes, I do like this poem. Some notes: Perhaps "she thanks the gods..." rather than "Thanking the gods..." as this doesn't make sense. "Oh-so-dear" sounds somewhat contrived; try simply "...she ...