Fye

Run away from the Hungry Bunny, He'll gobble up all your broccoli! *Laughs* Thank you, Bunny, for eating my broccoli! Crunch and munch goes the Hungry Bunny, drinking up anything ...

Rain poured down on that day Arm in arm, mother and son All the things she wanted to say To say that he was her one The lines here had ...

Happy, bright, ripe feeling. Fruit. This cinquain is rather cute. ;) The last two lines there are the ones that sound off. Particularly "ripe feeling". It just doesn't blend. Fruit ...

Hey, welcome to YWS! Just a note: Make at least two reviews before you post your stories; keeping the ratio of your reviews to your work 2:1. Also, always check ...

Hey, Tess! Welcome to YWS! Just a note: it's very much advisable that you make at least 2 reviews before posting any poem/story/writing and continue on, keeping your reviews to ...

Cinquain! Interesting. I've learnt something new in poetry today. Runny noses, Runny, etc. "Runny" doesn't seem nice as a repetition here. If you want to make an anaphora here you ...

I think you probably got mixed up with what Esme is saying about the periods and comas for dialogues. In dialogues, you put comas when your sentence is not finished. ...

Finally I managed to [s]managed to [/s]catch up with her and grabbed her before she could go any further. Elayna carried on struggling nonetheless and tried to prise my hands ...

“Wake up! Wake up!” The harsh whisper resonated in Markali’s ear. Her warm breath left a tingling sensation over the tip of his ear. Hmm.. "ear" as the last word ...

Haha not bad not bad. It was kinda funny considering that you wrote it in 5th grade. My favourite part was "... Muffy!!" That forced a laugh out of me! ...

Hey! I think this is a much better story than Break Neck. Just a few spelling mistakes and such you might have to be careful of. Always check your work ...

Wow, this is much better than the first piece! I needed a second proper read before I could spot any mistakes! Much improvement. “And by the way, Sonata, I’m far ...

Oh, this is nice. Wonderfully nice. I loved your beginning and your ending the most! It was simply perfect. Overall it gave me this mysterious feeling. Silent but aware. I ...

Yes, I'm back to comment on #2! When she had gotten here , all the boys were after her. She had long blonde hair, when I say long, I mean, ...

Hey! It was quite a nice story. In my opinion, there are some corrections to be done, though. Now , I know that I wasn’t the most attractive girl in ...