Published October 20, 2007
Autumn,
Runny noses,
Runny, wet, dribbling,
Dripping down your face.
First frost.
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Cinquains are only suposed to be 5 lines long and i think i'm going to make them as desripive as i possibly can. I hope you liked it because when i was writting it it did make me laugh! I will be posting more, so please look out for the title of: 'A Cinquain called . . . . . . . ' [Whatever i call them in the end.]
Please leave a reply if you would like to comment on it and possibly give me some tips ect..
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I won't say this was nice, but I thought it was good. I'd change "runny" in the third line, as you've already used it and I don't think this is long enough to warrant repetition. You handled the format well, and I really liked "first frost", actually. It sounded very melodic, and I liked the sense of change, which natuarlly goes hand in hand with your title.
Jess,
I think you could make this longer, more detailed. Obviously the charaters outside but where? Where is the dripping coming from? What is it, rain, snow? I really wan to know what the heck is dripping on the character's head. Hope this helps. Keep it up! Simles and smiles!
-Max
I'm not sure I like it, because imagining someones runny noise nastiness dribbling down their face is gross... XD ew. It also isn't how I imagine autumn. But that's all opinions. ^_^ For a cinquain it is good. The last line didn't seem to fit with the rest of the theme of the poem, though, so you might want to think on that.
I like it. I'm not good with poetry, so obviously I'm not able to give you any tips or anything, so I'll just say that I liked it
Cinquain! Interesting. I've learnt something new in poetry today.
"Runny" doesn't seem nice as a repetition here. If you want to make an anaphora here you have to somehow make it flow to another meaning rather than letting it stand on its own.
I can't get this line. What is dripping? Rain?
Cinquains are short so I can't critique much. Hope I've been helpful!